


Mistakes Are Best Made Moments

by NicePlaceToBe



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Powers, F/M, I write what I know and I know nothing but tropes, Vanya Hargreeves Needs A Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-26
Updated: 2020-03-15
Packaged: 2021-02-28 03:54:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 32,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22907353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NicePlaceToBe/pseuds/NicePlaceToBe
Summary: “You got most of it about me right, Vanya, but you’re wrong about one thing. I may be a sarcastic jackass, but my ego is never satisfied.”And the way he looked when he said it- eyes dark, hair slightly mussed and tie askew, an arrogant grin that said everything he was implying. He was sin in a suit and when Vanya looked back on that moment, she thinks that’s when she first realised she was in trouble.Or:Five is CEO of UmbrellaEnterprises and Vanya is a journalist with more opinions than she's ever been asked for. When Vanya gets videoed dissing Five and one of the biggest companies in the world (which he happens to run) she's in for a quick change of pace that's either going to end up with her running with some of the biggest names of her time or her falling flat on her face- or some hilarious mixture of the two.She's pretty sure it's gonna be a disaster, but maybe just in the best possible way
Relationships: Ben Hargreeves & Klaus Hargreeves, Dave/Klaus Hargreeves, Klaus Hargreeves & Vanya Hargreeves, Number Five | The Boy & Allison & Ben & Diego & Klaus & Luther & Vanya, Number Five | The Boy/Vanya Hargreeves
Comments: 35
Kudos: 279





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I really loved the idea of Businessman Five, so I kinda just ran with it. It might be a bit inconsistent and probably not very good but it's midway through the week and I need to celebrate mediocrity for meaning. 
> 
> Let me know what you think and if I should bother continuing it. Positive, negative, thoughts or tags you think I should add, literally anything, just chuck them in the comments

It _should_ have been a typical Friday night broadcast.

It was only the 7 o’clock news but they were having a special guest on tonight- which in Vanya’s personal opinion was just a weak grab for the public’s attention because Luther Hargreeves really didn’t know jackshit about UmbrellaEnterprises, despite that he was raised by the man who created it and had been working there his entire life. (Then again, Vanya didn't get paid to have an opinion).

No, the public wanted the inside scoop on the Hargreeves family drama, so Channel 8 sold its figurative soul to the devil and they were predicted to get their highest viewers ratings ever due to an actual golden retriever trapped in a human body. 

There was nothing Vanya had against Luther in particular, or indeed any of the Hargreeves siblings, but she didn’t know them, and had always found both the public’s interest (bordering on obsession) and the story behind their adoptions _weird_.

What kind of a man was Reginald Hargreeves that he adopted six children (all born on the same day, not seen in public for ten years and even then looking very composed for ten year olds) and they all ended up in the family business, seemingly trained for their roles since birth, and were all verging slightly on the side of absurd? 

Luther was in some kind of managerial position (Vanya struggled to remember which, even though she was in journalism and UmbrellaEnterprises was one of the biggest game changers of her generation, because it changed every interview) which was really more an excuse to keep him around as his father’s eyes and ears into his old company. He wasn’t particularly intelligent but he was likeable enough that he kept onside of the public’s opinion. He and Allison have a bit of a thing (which is still highly debated and Vanya can but _pray_ they won’t incite this argument again tonight) and while Luther may be an asset to his father, there is no question Allison is a weapon for the company, in charge of Media and Social Relations. Her silver tongue and subtle manipulations are an impressive sight to behold and while Vanya admires her, she is equally terrified and can’t help but be glad she’s not coming on the show soon. 

Diego Hargreeves was Head of Security and, while he was generally quite closed-off, well liked by the masses due to his friendly rivalry with Luther and the edgy vibe that young girls the world over seemed to be down for. Of all the siblings, Ben and Klaus seem to have remained the closest, rarely seen without each other in public. While Ben was comfortable working as one of the higher ups in the Legal Divisions, Klaus was a wild card as an artist in advertising- equally famous for the amount of UmbrellaEnterprises products he’s sold (laptops, phones, light-reactive sunglasses, adaptable chargers for all devices and the like) and his dramatic partying escapades. Vanya was not ashamed to admit those two were her favourites most because they always were interested in what she was saying and gave either detailed non-answer responses (Ben) or simply enthusiasm (Klaus), and seemed to genuinely like her. 

But the media’s real favourite was Five Hargreeves. The name was never explained and he wasn’t the kind of man to just ask that sort of thing, so it remained a mystery- of which he had many. For while his siblings may fill out the parts of leading their respective divisions, there was no question Five was the true brains of the operation, having taken over after his father stepped down.

Never seen out of a suit, in interviews he smirked or gave a blank face, but at anything corporate or involving his family, icy smiles were a commonplace; enough to satisfy the company but to Vanya always seemed insincere. He went straight into business school at 16 for his degree and completed a maths, physics and applied science degree on the side _for fun._ Five rose through the ranks quickly, from Research and Development into Management, almost as quickly as his fanbase grew, because money, power and attractiveness were a triad many sought to find. And while Vanya could privately agree he painted a very handsome picture, she never ceased to be amazed at the plethora of women and men who threw themselves at not only Five, but the whole Hargreeves family. 

  
  


Vanya was a journalist, so she understood the motives; power, greed, lust and hunger for anything more than what they had- they were what wrote her stories for her. Both her articles on the online platform and the scripts she had to pull together for the show’s anchor (a real creep called Harold Jenkins, but if reading her stories would make him leave her alone, Vanya wasn’t exactly complaining). 

She wasn’t entirely sure what her job was- she wrote a lot of political and business pieces (sometimes she did entertainment because she loved the orchestra and all the shows put on at the theatre downtown) and occasionally she did live reports, as well as doing a lot of editing and the like behind the scenes. Overall, Vanya was kind of keeping Channel 8 news afloat on the actual news side of things and while she wrote majority of what they aired each night, she did not get to see the questions for the interview with Luther Hargreeves. 

She had been quietly hoping and praying to every deity she had ever heard of that a) Harold hadn’t written the questions and b) that they weren’t entirely irrelevant and they might even get some usable footage where Harold didn’t stick his foot in it. 

Unfortunately it appears that higher power was not impressed by last ditch begging efforts and thus had not taken pity on Vanya, as she watched with disturbed fascination- much like one would watch a train wreck being set on fire- Harold Jenkins, the greatest Channel 8 has to offer, stumble his way through an interview to wrap up the show.

“And to end tonight we have a special guest joining us, who needs no introduction, as one of the 6 heirs to UmbrellaEnterprises. So,” Harold began, looking down at his notes. “Luther. We’ve been hearing some exciting things from Umbrella’s marketing and advertising- would you happen to know anything about that?”

Gritting her teeth, Vanya couldn’t help but roll her eyes- why else would a Hargreeves be on the local news if not for advertising? Of course he knew what was happening there, he would have been briefed about it an hour ago.

She knew she was bias because there was just that something about Harold that (after a while) started to fray on the nerves and while it was difficult to pin-point exactly _what_ it was that made him so insufferable, once noticed it simply didn’t disappear- but he was just _so annoying._

Luther launched into an ad campaign and Vanya couldn’t help but tune out- this week had been ridiculously long and had absolutely kicked her ass, and she only had to make it through this broadcast before falling into bed and barely moving for 12 hours. 

Dragging her attention back to the scene in front of her Vanya watched Harold ask his next question.

“Enough shop talk, it’s a Friday. What are you usually up to on a Friday night? Out with your siblings perhaps?” 

Vanya wanted to hit her head against a table. It was an obvious and unsubtle prompt for Luther to start spilling the family drama and while he looked vaguely on-edge, he seemed to take on a more protective stance.

“I take an astronomy class at a local university on Friday nights. I’ve always loved the moon and space so I’m re-educating myself. I’m not actually sure what my brothers and sister do with their weekends, but it’s fairly safe to assume that all their work has been well-completed before they leave. But you’d know all about that Harold, finishing the show before going out. Any plans yourself?” 

Sometimes Vanya forgot that the six darling Hargreeves children had been half raised in the spotlight. They were strange and eccentric but seemed honest and like they were people everyone knew. But when Vanya watched Luther distract and redirect Harold away from his family, she remembered that they knew the public figures, not the people.

The Hargreeves had likely been trained for exactly these instances and that everything the public knew about them was what Hargreeves Senior wanted them to know. She knew how quickly people slipped into easy habits of talking about themselves, and while she thought Jenkins egocentric and self-absorbed above all else, Vanya also knew he wouldn’t let it go. 

“Ah no, just a quiet weekend at home. So how does it feel with your brother stepping into your father’s legacy? Has it effected your relationship with him?”

Vanya scrambled to find the producer, who seemed to be simultaneously thinking about all the benefits he would get from this interview and being dead on the inside and hating his job. It was a difficult multitask but he pulled it off with the elegance and grace of one who knew they had all weekend to go home and contemplate their loose morals, but needed to be psychologically present for 30 more minutes before checking out entirely. 

“Dave, what is this?”

“This, Vanya, is what happens when Jenkins writes his own questions. It’s just a bit too horrifying to look away isn’t it?” 

“Jesus, he’s a dick. Hargreeves knows he doesn’t have to answer these right?” 

On screen, Luther seemingly laughed it off, but his tone left no room for argument.

“We all knew it was going to be Five- he’s always been more on the business than the creative side of things. When we were kids he’d always be the one saving us all when we got into trouble and with his stupidly difficult degrees under his belt, I’ve no doubt he’s going to take the company to new heights. We all couldn’t be happier for him.” 

“Really? No lingering desires for you and Allison to do an overthrowing of the throne?”

Harold the Hothead apparently couldn’t leave it well enough alone. Trying to incite a family feud and the pseudo-incest debate _again_ was a suicide mission- they were going to get _slammed_ for this. From across the studio floor, Vanya saw Luther start slightly at Allison’s name. 

She looked around wildly for the walkie talkie that connected to Luther’s earpiece but couldn’t see it anywhere, and instead waved her hands in wide negative motions. Unfortunately, that seemed to go overlooked by both Luther and Harold, the latter of which unfortunately seemed to be on a mission to see how far he could shove his foot in his mouth and tank their ratings in 5 minutes. 

“Since Five is the king, for now," he shot a wink at a deeply uncomfortable Luther. “Is there any sign of a queen to join him? I heard some whispers about him and a gal,” (Vanya cringed at the word) “called Delores, supposedly a model?” 

Vanya finally found the device, sitting next to the still transfixed Dave, and words tumbled out of her mouth. “You do not have to answer that. Any of.. whatever that was, Christ on a cracker he’s a weirdo.”

Luther’s eyes snapped around the room and settled on her, to give her a slight nod. Dave finally seemed to come around and stabbed a few buttons to take a short break, before sitting back in his chair, apparently in shock about whatever it was that he’d just seen.

Jenkins must have sensed this would be his last time on camera for a while, so he took full advantage of the three seconds before the commercials were meant to start and started raving like a mad man.

“UmbrellaEnterprises drained my bank account and ruined my life! You’re all dicks, and none of you can hold onto any relationships because you’re emotionally fucked up and-“ 

Someone must’ve called security because he was hustled off very quickly and Vanya could only be grateful that they were at the very end of the broadcast. She made her way over to Luther, who was still sitting there- bearing a remarkable resemblance to a tree. 

“I am _so_ sorry, usually he’s not that bad but I didn’t write his questions tonight so he went a bit rogue and he’s an insensitive asshole. He shouldn’t have asked you about anything to do with Five or any of your family, it was supposed to just be you pitching the new whatever of Umbrella, please don’t sue-”

Luther seemed amused by this and he told her. “No, I was expecting all that, part and parcel of press. It just made me wonder....I’m just curious about what it looks like from the outside- the Umbrella everything. What do you think of us Vanya?”

“You know my name?” 

“You’re Klaus and Ben’s favourite interviewer. I was a little disappointed I didn’t get you for the broadcast, though it’s nice to see you got a promotion.”

“No promotion, just more work for the same amount of money. But that’s not the point. I can’t make a judgement on any of you.” Vanya steered back to the point 

“Why not?” He prodded curiously. 

“I don’t know you.”

“Sure you do, everyone knows us, we’re the Hargreeves, born business men and women.” He said it with the tone of someone who had heard that exact phrase repeated a million times, until it rang true. 

“I know your public face. I can’t, and I shouldn’t, base an opinion of you and your life off what everyone else is telling me.”

“Ok then, humour me,” Luther said seriously. “What do you think about all of us, from what you know in the media- be harsh. What do you think about UmbrellaEnterprises? What do you think about, say Five- he doesn’t have a public or private face, he just is.” 

Vanya let out a quick breath. No one had ever asked for her opinion- not on anything like this. She knew she shouldn't- but she was tired and preoccupied with thoughts about ratings and her filter seemed not to be in place. 

“Well, I’ve obviously met you, Klaus and Ben. I think Ben and Klaus are close, they balance each other out- I know Klaus has struggled with substance abuse but Ben supported him and from what I’ve heard they’re both doing quite well. Klaus is probably still a little jittery and Ben might be too kind for his line of work but neither are bad qualities to have. You’re your father’s son- or you were, but now you’re drifting, finding your own space. You work well when you know what you have to do, but you aren’t quite a leader.” She sent him an apologetic look.

“I’m a bit scared of Diego, he seems like he wouldn’t forgive easily and I’d hate to get on his bad side, but I think he was also with Klaus in his recovery. I get the vibe that he’s closer to some people than he’d rather let on and he protects both his mother figure and his secret girlfriend in interviews. Allison I’m terrified of, she seems like she could make you spill all your secrets and smile while you do it. You and her are still together but trying to keep it a secret because you don’t need everyone weighing in, and Allison is more afraid of the public opinion than you are- especially given she’s female and would probably get huge backlash and all of her clients would use it against her. That’s really all I can tell.”

Luther stared at her. “No one knew about Klaus. Hell, I didn’t know about Klaus until he told me. And everyone says that Ben is stubborn and that Diego is a loner. And no one knows about me and Allison. How do you know all that?”

Vanya met his gave levelly. “I pay attention. I’m not watching every interview or question time but the signs are there. Call me an outsider looking in, but sometimes when you’re ordinary, you can see what other people can’t. I mean I obviously have met Klaus and Ben but they don’t exactly want to spill their secrets to a journalist, no matter how much you say they like me.”

“I’d love to hear your take on Five and the company then, if all that is ‘elementary dear Watson’.”

His accent was shocking, but it set Vanya at ease 

“Five is… interesting. He seems like a bit of an asshole,” Luther choked back a laugh.

“I mean that he doesn’t really seem to care what anyone thinks of him. He doesn’t apologise for being smart, though he does shove it in anyone’s face who pisses him off and then he doesn’t apologise for being rude or sarcastic or blunt. It’s a bit egotistical perhaps that he never says sorry, but he’s not insincere and most of the time he’s right. He’s … _cold_ in public, I guess disinterested is more accurate, seems like his ego is satisfied- it’s big enough on its own that it doesn’t need to be petted by the media, by anyone really. It looks like he really enjoys undermining your father- he’s got this very particular smile, like if Reginald was there he would be giving him the biggest shit-eating grin but for now he’s just taking the piss out of everyone and everything. And everyone takes him so seriously as well. I’ve seen him roll his eyes so many times after giving a statement that people quote later- it’s a bit like they don’t realise he’s a sarcastic jackass? 

“The company- I’m curious to see how it will pan out. You’re obviously a billion dollar corporation in a million different lines of work- fridges and phones and lamps and tables and prosthetics and all that. Not particularly sustainable though- I haven’t seen your environmental stance or your ethical act, but I’m pretty sure you could probably be doing more, if you are looking for feedback. It might cost you a million or so now to make the switch to renewable energy but you’ll easily make that back in a few years, it’d be cheaper in the long run not to mention that it might encourage some other corporations to follow suit. I don’t know how much you’re paying your workers, but I can pretty much guarantee some of the lower down on the totem pole employees would love a wage that they can live on, not just stretch themselves thin on- maybe then you could keep on more staff rather than the brief stint employees you’ve been having for the last decade or so. A more prominent internship program would bring in young talent early, giving men paternity leave for a longer time than just two weeks, closing the pay gap and making an effort to hire diversity- maybe some people in rehabilitation or kids from the darker side of town. I don’t know. I’m not keeping tabs on you, these are just general criticisms on capitalism and the companies that run it.”

Luther watched her with something akin to amazement. Klaus and Ben had gushed about her, saying that she was nice and smart and “ _you’re so lucky Luther they haven’t had me back in ages and she’s hasn’t responded to my follow request, can you tell her to accept me?"_ and _“I swear Luther she’s like the sister you never had, Vanya’s awesome and Klaus don’t scare her off-"_.

But it wasn’t until _now_ that he properly got it. And all he could think was that he couldn’t _wait_ for her to meet Five, it was going to be hilarious. He was about to tell her so, when they started hurrying him off the set. He called over his shoulder

“You’ve got a lot of opinions, no wonder you became a journalist. But you’re awesome. Also, I’m meant to tell you to accept Klaus’s follow request. Bye Vanya!” 

  
  


Vanya stood at the desk, half bewildered by what had just happened. Usually, she never went off like that- she’d keep it all inside because no one asked ( _a_ _nd no one cares so just hold it in, keep it together, don’t make things worse just clench your fists and breathe and smile because then no one can see your tears-_ ).

But then he asked and it all came pouring out and _wow_ that was embarrassing, he definitely thought she had that all planned out (and she kinda had, a little impromptu speech she kept at the ready for whenever anyone asked for her opinion) and to do that at a Hargreeves no less? At least Luther had pretended to be engaged, Vanya consoled herself, at least he didn’t tell her to shut up- _which he definitely should have._

She looked at the clock and sighed in relief, it was well past 8 o’clock, she was free to go. Leaving any worries about the interview at the studio, she pushed through the front doors and let the flow of the streets carry her away into anonymity once more. 

————————————————————————

8:18pm 

_Vanya-the-Violin_ accepted _ARTISDEAD_

8:18pm 

_Vanya-the-Violin_ requested _ARTISDEAD_

  
  


————————————————————————————

Vanya woke the next morning to her phone sounding like it was having a heart attack. Groping around in the dark, she managed to find it and switch off the sound while her eyes adjusted to the screen. Oh. Oh _no._

Every worry she’d had came flooding back, increased by tenfold. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.” Vanya murmured, searching through her phone before hitting a contact. 

“Good morning Vanya! You’re not usually up this early-"

“No Dave, I am _not_ usually up this early and for that reason alone it is _not_ a good morning, but there’s something else that makes this an even _worse_ morning and _that’s on you,"_ Vanya half hissed the last few words. 

“Huh?”

“The video, Dave? The one you apparently took of me last night with Luther, where I spilled my guts and is now trending on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook?”

“The wha- oh, I must have still had the cameras on. They did say there weren’t any commercials lined up, because we weren’t meant to end so quickly, but I just assumed it cut to blank air. I guess not.” He chuckled, albeit a little nervously. 

“And why pray tell, would one assume that?” Her voice was deathly calm. 

“I don’t know, I was pretty tired, I just figured everything would be fine.”

“And when I was dissing the CEO of one of the biggest companies in the world and basically crapping all over their business model, did you not think that you should maybe turn the camera away? Turn the sound off? Tell me to shut up?”

“Ah Vanya, don’t worry it’s all good, everything’s gonna be fine.”

“It’s number 1 one Facebook. #VanyatheSavage,” she whined. 

“Facebook is so outdated anyway. It’ll all have blown over by Monday, just go on a social media hiatus until it dies down a bit. I’ll talk to you then yeah?” He told her, and then he hung up. 

  
  


Cautiously, she opened the apps with the most notifications. The first thing she noticed was that she had about a thousand more follow requests than she did last night. 

The second was that the first few were from Ben, Luther and Allison Hargreeves. She nearly dropped her phone. 

The third thing was that the video was nowhere near the whole spiel she’d given, starting from Luther asking her “How did you know all that?”- which was good, less embarrassment and potential exposing of Hargreeves family secrets, but also _bad_ because it meant that anything she’d said about not wanting to be a judgemental asshole was missing, so she sounded like someone just bitching about shit she didn’t have a clue about and criticising one of the most powerful men in the country. 

The fourth thing she noticed was that Klaus had tagged her in a post with the video saying

_@Vanya-the-Violin finally followed me back (thanks @MoonBoy) and called out @UmbrellaEnterprises and @FiveHargreeves- big Friday night for my fav reporter #VanyatheSavage #FemaleFive_

And the fifth thing she noticed was that tag. _#FemaleFive._ What the hell was that? 

So Vanya did one more thing before crawling back into bed 

_That video is a mistake- this is why we don’t ask for no-holds-barred honesty on a billion dollar corporation while on a TV set @MoonBoy. My apologies to anyone offended by it, though I am surprised anyone would care enough to take it to heart. Please don’t sue me @UmbrellaEnterprises. Fuck off @ARTISDEAD and @IWriteLawsNotTradgedies (I can feel you smirking behind that sin of a username Ben). Also wtf is #FemaleFive??_

Shit. This was not how she wanted to spend her Saturday. 

——————————————————————————————

If he had been asked, Five probably wouldn’t have predicted this was how his Saturday would turn out. A bit of work, maybe some reading and sleeping; he expected some media attention from Luther’s interview, but he figured it would mostly have died down. He was walking out of his apartment when he was ambushed by reporters

“Five, Five! Have you seen the video?”

“What video?” He responded (promptly wishing he hadn’t because you weren’t meant to engage with them but whatever, his father and his rules could go and die in a hole). 

Someone fished their phone out of their pocket and pulled up a video of his brother and a petite brunette woman, who- in an uncharacteristic opinion that caught him off guard- looked breathtaking in a grey shirt and a pair of jeans with her hair down. (Later thinking back on it, he would think it was the delicate twist in her features that betrayed her kindness and the way she seemed to radiate something when she was talking- a light, a passion that made her glow and fill the space).

He heard his brother pose a question and then she talked; it was like a lilting melody, lifting and dipping and flying in the wind, and she was a bird, articulate and gorgeous and free. 

Hearing her dissect _him_ it was weird, to say the least, but perhaps in the best possible way. He couldn’t help but laugh at her painfully nice description of him- he knew himself to be far more deserving of criticism than praise and there weren’t nearly enough expletives in there to cover his personality, but she was accurate.

Her opinions on the company- he found himself pondering them. He took a more business focused approach, on building their assets, but she made good points for her ideas on the humanities side of things. After finishing the video, the reporters were still watching him with bated breath.

“What are you going to do in response to this, Mr Hargreeves?” 

Five laughed at their concentrated faces as they waited for him to explode; they would be waiting a while for _that._

“I’m going to offer her a job. Would anyone know where I could find her?” 

Their shocked expressions were more than enough to keep Five smirking for the rest of the day- and while it wasn’t the Saturday he expected, he wasn’t complaining. 

———————————————————————————————

Calling his family to Griddy’s was the next logical step- Luther knew where she worked and he could get them all onside before he made the decision, or so it would seem, but Five had made up his mind and his family would not get in the way of that. 

Coming into the diner was a strange mix of bittersweet nostalgia and an overwhelming feeling of being hidden and safe behind the neon lights. Five embraced it fully before turning to the table they always sat at, and coming face to face with all five of his siblings. Luther was raving as he sat down and made himself comfortable, during himself some coffee and grabbing a donut. 

“She knew everything about us, it was insane. Like Diego, she could tell you had a girlfriend and that you’ve got a soft spot for Mom and she hasn’t even met you. And she knew about you Klaus- and she hasn’t done anything with that, she just sat on that media goldmine.”

“We told you, Vanya is great. In my interview she could see my hands were shaking from withdrawal and she held one under the table and whenever there was a question that I said something I wasn’t meant to she would say a bunch of swear words so they couldn’t use the footage-" Klaus told Luther as Ben railed over him. 

“Before mine we went to get coffee and she made sure I was comfortable with her and everything because it was meant to be an exclusive and really intense but she sort of just let me do my thing and prompted me but she didn’t force me to talk about any of it. Apparently she can play the violin and she was telling me how all her neighbours really hated it so now she only does it during the day, she’s really sweet-"

“Should we be worried that she knew all that?” Diego interjected, before being faced down and told in no uncertain terms that Vanya was _‘a sweetheart and can absolutely be trusted’._

With all this resolved, they turned to Five and Allison asked “So Five, why’d you bring us here?”

“Is it about the video?” Klaus leapt in excitedly. 

“Yes actually. I’m going to offer her a job.” 

A beat passed. 

“A job?” Diego asked 

“Yes.”

“Doesn’t she already have one of those?” Allison queried 

“A better job,” Five said, eye-roll implied. 

“Like what?” Ben asked suspiciously 

“I was thinking Head of Personal Relations and Innovations," he took a sip from his coffee. 

“That’s not a real position…” Luther trailed off

“But it will be, if she accepts.” 

“You’re willing to create a new position, just for Vanya?” questioned Ben 

“If that’s her name then yes. I was planning to find a way to contact her after this, but I thought I should probably tell all of you first.” He gestured around vaguely as if to illustrate his plan. 

They all went quiet before-

“I told you so! I knew it, this is hilarious, I can see the future, I started it #FemaleFive- oh my god, did I call it!” 

His other siblings were in similar states of laughter and Five bit into a doughnut as he waited for the absurdity to pass. 

  
  


“Ok, ok, ok, so we’re officially bringing Vanya into the fold then. We need a plan, she loves her job, she won’t just leave it. Ok strategy, will she want benefits or more media appearances? Is there anything that we can definitely use to lure her in?” 

“Yeah, that’s not strictly necessary. She’ll accept,” Five said confidently. 

“And you know this _how,_ Number Five?”

“That speech was not made by someone who is content. If she’s got that much to say with a little bit of prompting, imagine why she hasn’t said it before. She isn’t allowed to, she’s meant to be impartial, supposedly anyway. But Vanya obviously has ideas and I think we could implement them, so long as she’s leading it. None of us really fit the ‘people person’ class, so if we want to be doing things like this, we need someone the public adores, not just someone the public loves to hate.” 

He took another long sip from his coffee mug before refilling it with the pot sitting nearby. 

“So, does anyone know where I can find her?” 

“Brother dearest, if you think we’re not going to come with you for the pure entertainment value, then you really don’t know us at all.”

And Five is quite sure that this is how the famous Hargreeves ended up in a dingy apartment building, waiting at the doorstep of a journalist as the light flickered, flickered, flickered above them. 

——————————————————————————————

It was 5 o’clock at night.

It was 5pm on a Saturday and she wasn’t expecting anyone so when she heard knocking, Vanya assumed it was a mailman or someone trying to sell something or a serial killer, so she didn’t bother with trying to make herself look presentable. She most certainly didn’t expect 6 people, all of who had regular spots on the covers of magazines, to be crowded around her door while she was in her best hoodie and tracksuit pants. 

“Vanya, hi!” Klaus called as soon as he saw her.

It took a moment to process.

A long moment, as she stood deliberately still for a second and contemplated why they could possibly be there, how they knew where she lived and why the hell Klaus was so excited to see her. And then, with quite possibly the most influential family in the country standing on her doorstep, she slammed the door in their faces. 

  
  


Ben swore he saw Vanya travel through about five years worth of emotions in a second. Surprise and fear and regret and anger and embarrassment and guilt and self-consciousness and fatigue flashed across her face before she shut the door with a decisive snap. 

“Great, we scared her off. What do we do now?” Luther asked.

“Diego, do you remember how to pick locks?” Allison inquired, eyeing the lock with a calculating stare. 

“I could probably just bust the door down, the locks should be fairly weak anyway. Wouldn’t even need to kick it, just shoulder charge it in the right place.”

“None of that will be necessary since she KNOWS WE’RE OUT HERE AND THAT SHUTTING THE DOOR DOESN’T MAKE YOUR PROBLEMS GO AWAY SWEETIE.” Ben hollered. 

They all held their breath. Then, slowly, the door opened to reveal a defeated looking Vanya. 

“Won’t you all please come in?” 

  
  
  


Klaus breezed past her, tugging Ben along behind him while the others filed in one-by-one until even Luther had awkwardly squeezed himself into Vanya’s small living room. 

“I love your apartment,” Allison broke the unconscious silence that fell over the room. 

“Oh, uh, thank you. I’m sure it’s not up to your standards but I like it.” Vanya was caught off-guard by the compliment- though she struggled to tell whether or not it was genuine. Regaining some of her composure, and to more distract herself than anything else she asked, “Would anyone like something to drink? Tea, coffee?” 

“I’ll take a tea and Five will have a coffee,” Klaus chimed in. 

“How do you know that I want a coffee?” Five challenged 

“Because none of us have never seen you turn down a cup of coffee, even the crappy stuff at corporate meetings, Number Five,” Diego threw in. 

“You’d think it wouldn’t be that hard, who do I have to kill to get just one decent cup of coffee at a Monday morning meeting,” Five remarked. 

Vanya started moving around the kitchen, boiling the kettle and pulling out mugs. 

“What kind of tea Klaus? I’ve got peppermint, lavender, ginger, green and earl grey.”

“Peppermint, keeps my nerves down since I’m trying to cut back on smoking.”

“Really? Good for you, you’ve been busy since I last saw you- what 18 months ago now? I saw you passing all those drug tests with flying colours and your work’s been brilliant since then as well. Not that it isn’t always, but your campaign with the headphones acting like personal bubbles was great, truly. Started up a heap of conversations about how they help people tune stuff out, especially if they’re going through a sensory overload or panic attack, but also covering the other end of the spectrum on how to help people not tune out in public when they could be in a potentially dangerous situation, like crossing a road and not seeing the car coming- we did an analysis report a couple weeks back. Anyway, it was really good for sales wasn’t it- I think I read something about that being the week Umbrella broke the record for most amount of technology sold within a fortnight?” 

Vanya is pretty sure she had lost all filters between her brain and mouth.

She just kept talking and could not make herself stop, she didn’t even know what she was blathering on about. Distracted as she was, she made up the tea and coffee on autopilot (black with a dash of cinnamon and a splash of sugar, just how she liked her coffee best) and brought it over. Preoccupied with her tasks, she didn’t see the six siblings giving each other Looks over her head as she placed the mugs on her coffee table and pulled up a few chairs, gesturing for everyone to sit. 

Once everyone was sitting, the awkwardness started to hit Vanya again as she struggled to think of a way to politely say ‘why the fuck are you in my apartment?’. 

  
  


Luckily, awkward didn’t seem to be a word in Klaus’s vocabulary. 

“Well thank you Vanya, I’m glad you appreciated it. I actually got a lot of stick about that ad-"

“You initially had the entire pitch covered in glitter Klaus, I’m still trying to pick it out of my hair-“ Diego moaned. 

“And it would have been the best briefing anyone had ever been to if you hadn’t seen it before I went in there, all remaining glitter on your person is entirely self-inflicted," Klaus rebuked. "Anyway, I’ve just realised that we haven’t properly introduced ourselves, I mean you obviously know Ben and I and Luther of course-"

“That’s really not necessary Klaus I actually think I might already know-"

“And that’s Diego and Allison,” Klaus steamrolled over Vanya’s protests, pointing to each of his siblings in turn. “And, well, I think you know Five.”

  
  


The smiles that were painted across all of their faces were a true testament to the ‘nurture over nature’ argument- how six people from different genetic compositions and ethnicities but the same upbringing could all pull out the exact same smug smirk _on cue-_ it truly made Vanya want to write an academic paper and simultaneously punch the looks off their faces. 

  
  


At this point, Vanya is pretty sure she has hit a crossroads.

She is tired and emotionally all over the place from when she tried to read some of the comments people made about her (a mix of ‘who does she think she is’ and ‘whoever this girl is I want her to run for government’) and she doesn’t have the energy to be on edge in her own home.

(In all actuality she probably hit this diversion of paths a while ago and it was too late to go back to the ‘Anxiety path’ rather than the ‘Fuck This and You path’). 

“Lovely. Now that we’re all acquainted, if you can just tell me if you’re suing me for defamation of character and/or need to use me as a publicity stunt then you can all be on your merry way and enjoy your Saturday nights, doing whatever it is that you all like to do and I can go back to my self-imposed hiatus from all screens that aren’t showing me movie marathons.”

“Vanya that’s not actually why we’re her-“

“You know what, no, that was horribly rude. I _am_ terribly sorry about the whole thing, I’m assuming Luther told you about all of it, even the stuff that didn’t get recorded and I would like to apologise for making judgements on all of you and your company. Especially you Five, since you’re the one that actually has to deal with all the tabloids now. You’ve just caught me at a bad moment, it’s been a rather more eventful day than I was hoping.”

Vanya seemed not to have even noticed Ben’s interruption and went straight over the top of him, with sincere apologies but a light in her eyes that said she wasn’t going to back down from the implications of what she’d said. Apparently though, she hadn’t quite finished. 

“Though, I would like to say that trying to follow me immediately afterwards and then starting trending hashtags isn’t exactly going to play into the ‘shocked and devastated celebrities’ angle I’m assuming you’d be trying to play in court-” 

It was at that moment that Five took a sip from his coffee and thus found it exponentially more important than whatever Vanya was about to say to chip in. 

“That’s a decent cup of coffee.”

His siblings all swung to face him, disbelief colouring their features and he just _knew_ he was going to get it about this later.

“You done now?” Five asked, eyebrow raised and his signature smirk playing at the corner of his mouth as Vanya's mouth fell slightly open. 

“I’m done.” She had, in fact, not been quite done, but Vanya figures that insulting their suing strategy was probably her subconscious scraping the bottom of the barrel for conversation topics, so it might be a blessing in disguise that Five is fairly impatient. 

“Great. We’re not suing. In fact, I- well, _we_ came to offer you a job.”

Vanya seemed to have been stumped into silence. She managed to scrounge together a weak “What?”

“You know, a job? Generally also referred to as an occupation or employment, a task that one gets paid to-"

“Shut up Five, we want her to actually take it, just don’t be a smartass for five minutes.” 

  
  


“What job? And why would you want to offer it to me?” Vanya was steadyfast ignoring any dialogue that wasn’t answering her questions. 

“You’d be Head of Personal Relations and Innovations.”

“I have virtually no qualifications for that kind of position- I’ve never even heard of it.” She laughed, half disbelieving but a hint of hysteria in her tone. 

“That’s because it’s not a position.” Diego added helpfully. 

“It would be though, if you accepted,” Allison chimed in. 

  
  


Vanya raised her eyebrows in confusion. 

As one, they turned to Five. 

Silently sighing to himself, Five searched his brain for words that wouldn’t sound entirely stupid. 

“What we’re saying- in a very confusing, drawn-out way- is that this position has been specifically created for you based on what we saw on the video.”

“What.” No inflection, just a statement, but the potential for a complete breakdown and/or screaming match was all too palpable. 

“Shit, ok, I’m not making full sense am I? Usually we do these with people who applied for the job, but there’s a first time for everything. The video was hilarious and you were entirely on the money about…pretty much everything I’d say. And we, UmbrellaEnterprises,” he gestured at the room’s other occupants, “would like for you to come and work for us and implement those and any other ideas you had.” 

It was quiet.

Not really, since Vanya’s apartment had pretty shitty sound-proofing and her neighbours and the city were not quiet by any stretch of the imagination, but quiet enough that Five found himself being able to hear the sound of Klaus rocking back and forwards on the balls of his feet and in his book, that was too quiet. 

“Can you do that?” Vanya asked finally. 

Five almost laughed aloud. “I can do whatever I want. I’m the CEO of the company.” 

“And you’d give it to me, just like that? Aren’t you worried I’d sell your secrets or waste money or-"

“You’re forgetting Klaus and I have heard _all_ the stories from your childhood. Vanya, we’ve backed you all the way here.” Ben prompted her before adding, “I don’t think you realise how much you’re telling people when you mention that you made your own clothes and gave them to other kids. I’m not sure it’s physically possible for you to betray anything on that large of a scale.”

“What would the job entail?” Vanya decided to ignore any of the possible compliments there- her self-esteem really couldn't take all this at once. 

“You’d get full freedom with your ideas and implementation, you’d just have to run it by senior management briefly,” Five told her. “So, do you want the job or not?”

Vanya felt herself freeze. All this information just flew at her at blinding speeds but she felt like she was underwater- everything seemed so far away. But the bigger part of her, the part that had grown up poor and hungry and scrabbling to make sure she would get a life bigger than this, took over. DIstantly, she heard a voice that was not quite her own. 

“I-I’ll take it.”

“Great, you start Monday. Grace will call you and give you the specifics.” Five made to stand and his siblings started shuffling out the door, murmuring ‘Congratulations’ and ‘Come and find me and we’ll have lunch together’ as they left. 

  
  


Vanya's brain was slowly catching up, as they all filed out of her apartment. 

Five put his mug on her kitchen table on his way to the door before Vanya said, unable to prevent herself from asking, “You never answered my question. Why me?” 

Unbeknownst to her, Five grinned. She was going to keep him on his toes, he could tell. 

“When you talk, you’ve got a way of making people listen and care. You’ve got vision Vanya. We could use a little more of that, maybe make a humanitarian difference. None of the Hargreeves are capable of that but you? I think you might just make something of Umbrella.” Turning, he opened the door, but before he let it shut he half spun to face her and she could see his smirk in full force. “You got most of it about me right, Vanya, but you’re wrong about one thing. I may be a sarcastic jackass, but my ego is never satisfied.”

  
  


And the _way_ he looked when he said it- eyes dark, hair slightly mussed and tie askew, an arrogant grin that said everything he was implying. He was sin in a suit and when Vanya looked back on that moment, she thinks that’s when she first realised she was in trouble. Because she felt her blood turn to liquid fire in her veins as he disappeared down the hall and a dull ache set off in her stomach she knew would be as insatiable as Five claimed his ego to be. 

  
  
  


“Decent coffee eh Five?”

“Oh shut up Diego.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vanya has made a mistake and she's not quite sure how to get out of it (and maybe she doesn't want to).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey let me know what you think- I'm desperate for comments and I'd love to know what you want from Vanya and Five in terms of characterisation.
> 
> At the moment it's looking like a five chapter saga, which is a bit more than I had been expecting but we'll see how this chapter goes down before I commit to anything! 
> 
> I own nothing you recognise, only my weird sense of humour and funky dialogue. Enjoy!

She shouldn’t go.

It had been an impatient decision- there were too many people in her space and they had all been waiting on _her._ She had just wanted to get them out (and she didn’t want to make people wait on her- _selfish, selfish, selfish_ ) and she had been overwhelmed, so she choked out an affirmative to make them leave. An action that she had been regretting since she did it. Stupid, stupid, _stupid_. 

_‘Be kind_ ,’ her grandmother had always told her. 

_‘How does one be kind and not be a doormat?_ ’ Vanya wondered. 

Because the expectation always was to give.

If you were on a bus, give up your seat, even if the person was barely older than her. If someone needed help with homework or housework, even if she had done it for them a million times before- give up your time. If someone didn’t like the music she was playing, give up playing the violin for a while- she always came back around, but the sense of guilt for interrupting everyone else with her practice never really went away. If someone didn’t like her being too excited, be more contained. If someone didn’t like her being shy, be more open. Always implied with every action, _‘is that kind?_ ’. 

(Give and give until there’s nothing left because if we are not kind then we are not liked, and _if I’m not liked then I’m not wanted and I don’t matter._ It didn’t matter if she wasn’t happy, just as long as she could make everyone else so- y _ou do not matter, you are selfish, don’t drag others down._ Be kinder, be more considerate _\- be more, be better._ Because sometimes, your best just isn’t good enough. _)_

Vanya’s sure her grandmother didn’t mean to pound it into her head (so that with every step she takes she can hear it thumping, the constant _was that kind? Keep it contained, keep it locked down, I must be better_ ). But she was young and it didn’t take much to string together the ideas that everyone wanted her to believe, that she needed to give herself to others fully and without reserve and whenever she didn’t she was being self-centred, she was being egocentric, she was being rude.

Her babushka was lovely, the warmest hugs and the softest smiles and she always joked that Vanya was her doll because if she was the babushka, then surely Vanya would be her small centre inside. When Vanya moved overseas, out of Russia, her babushka was so excited- calling her everyday to hear about what it was like and asking if she was still volunteering. She imagines it’s what having a mother would be like. Even if her mother had died in childbirth, Vanya couldn’t help but wonder who she was- what she was like and the things she did, the places she went. Babushka lost her daughter, and Vanya never knew how to bring it up, so she didn’t. 

She thinks they may have been estranged before she was born because sometimes her grandmother will still mumble under her breath about her father in Russian (translating to something along the lines of ’runaway rat’ plus a few choice expletives) and then “an orphanage- I can’t believe she thought… my own granddaughter…. A few years and it’s like you don’t even _know_ her anymore-" and more bits and pieces she’d managed to pull together over the years. Admittedly, Vanya couldn’t attest to knowing the full story, but she’s found herself to be content in the knowledge that her grandmother had raised her- and no matter what it was that her mother had wanted to do with her, Vanya was grateful that she’d had a family, however small it was. 

She was not feeling grateful right now though. Because while she loved her grandmother dearly, growing up with little to no experience in saying ’no’ meant that now she was at a total loss.

Vanya didn’t even know what she wanted- she knew she didn’t deserve the job, she knew that Channel 8 needed every journalist they could get and she knew that when Five Hargreeves looked directly at her and talked to her, her stomach didn’t settle and she said whatever first came to her head.

_All the more reason,_ Vanya thought firmly, _to nip it in the bud now._

————————————————————————————————

Vanya recalled that ‘Grace’ would be calling her with the details, and she was pretty sure that was her best opportunity to finish this business once and for all.

So when the call came, she didn’t have enough time to get anxious about talking on the phone (it was so much more demanding than texting, she had to immediately respond and constantly gauge the other person’s voice for the tone of the conversation and it was just the two of them on the phone, she had to actually carry the conversation) or wonder about how the hell they got her number, because she was preoccupied with how best to tell her and then quickly get off the line. 

“Hello, is this Vanya Smirnov? I’m Grace, I assume you’ve been expecting this call.”

“Uh, hi! Er, yes I’m Vanya. But before we get into the details, I did just have to- well I was suppose to tell you that, um, there was something I had to let you know.”

The words tumbled out of Vanya's mouth, unordered, messy and incredibly juvenile-sounding. Vanya cringed at her tongue-tied, awkward jumble as Grace replied, sounding poised as ever. 

“Oh? If it’s a message for Mr Hargreeves I can certainly pass it on. He says you’re going to be a brilliant addition to the company.”

The voice that filtered through the line was calming, though almost robotic in how polished her responses sounded. Gritting her teeth, Vanya tried to get out something cohesive this time. 

“I- I don’t actually think that- what I mean to say is, I think it... _might_ have been a hasty decision to take the job. I'm not sure I'm ready for such a change.”

“Why certainly! I’m sure you know how quickly offers are snatched up. If you are having some difficulties with notifying your former employer, Umbrella can assist with that- Mr Hargreeves would like you to begin Monday.”

_Monday?_

That was a lot sooner than she had been expecting. 

Vanya could see her escape routes being blocked off one by one as Grace calmly dispatched Vanya’s possible excuses, in a tone as light as if they were talking about the weather. She tried again. 

“I’m just not quite sure I deserve- I don’t have any qualifications for business or company law or-” Her Freudian slip left her off balance and could rebutt all too easily.

“Mr Klaus and Mr Ben Hargreeves thought you might say that- and Mr Five Hargreeves has agreed that these are not needed for your role. Do you have any further concerns?”

Our actions are only one part of the stories we tell as humans. Our morals, our values, our thoughts, memories and relationships, emotions and dreams tell another. But they do intersect with each other at some random intervals, to affect each other in the strangest ways.

Vanya’s appeared to do so in a way that she could speak her mind (confident inner own thoughts if nothing else) if she was certain that they wanted to hear it- aligning her need to please others with her want to share her opinions.

Unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately, only time will tell) they also seemed to cross in a way that meant when Grace asked this question and Vanya had exhausted her supply of excuses, her obligation to make little fuss and make other people happy overrode her anxiety and she found herself saying, “No, there’s nothing else.”

“Excellent! So your office-”

Grace chattered on and Vanya wrote down everything she said. It felt a bit like she was back in a dingy classroom taking notes in a subject she wasn’t going to take the test for and the apartment only fell silent after the phone call ended. 

“ _Fuck_.”

Still reeling from the fact that she had somehow agreed _again_ to a job she didn’t want, Vanya sat down. 

She was going to have to call Dave about this, wasn’t she?

—————————————————————————————————

“What do you mean you couldn’t say no? It’s just a word Vanya, your job is literally writing them.” Dave sounded deadpan, though a hint of laughter coloured his words 

  
  


“Not anymore apparently. They showed up to my apartment and they wouldn’t leave and at least half of them looked at me like I was an animal about to attack them and the lady on the phone didn’t let me get a word in edgewise and I had to delete all my social media because my phone is a _shit-block_ that can’t handle more than a text every hour and everyone knows my name now and I had to eat 2 minute noodles for lunch because there’s nothing else in the cupboard.”

Once she started, Vanya found that- once again- she couldn’t control the flow of words. This time though, it felt like a burden was being lifted off her chest rather than being even further weighed down. 

“Hey, hey it’s fine Vanya, _you’re_ fine. I mean, this is hilarious on like every level for me- except the one where I have to get a new co-producer/journalist/reporter.”

“What are you talking about? I am not showing up there on Monday. The press would have a field-day. Oh shit, I did this backwards, I was meant to make you promise not to run this before I told you. Fuck please don’t do the story- I mean, there is no story because I’m not going.”

“First off, even if you didn’t take the job, this is a story. A huge story that’d get us a heap of coverage and probably funding for at least another year. But, because you were literally the best writer I have worked with and my _friend_ , I’m not going to run it," Dave assured her. "Secondly, you are taking the job Vanya. Whatever shit you’re thinking about not being good enough or self-sacrificing crap for Channel 8, please just listen to me. You are a hell of a lot smarter than you will give yourself credit for and you will be making huge difference no matter where you go, and while we’ll miss you (like a lot, I’m going to have to retrain Jenkins on how to do a fucking interview by the way) you’re a mover and a shaker, you gotta keep going.”

“I know nothing about this Dave, absolutely nothing! I’d have no idea what I’m doing! I trained to write and that’s it. I’m going to call them now and refuse it, hopefully I’ll get the machine and then it’ll be done.”

“Woah, woah, woah Smirnov- not so fast. Do you really think that _anyone_ knows what they’re doing? I’d never been a producer before but when I got the call, I just took it. My resume says I’m a health activist because I made and signed a petition one time. Harold Jenkins is on national TV every night and he has no clue what the fuck he’s talking about. Everything is bullshit, you just gotta hype yourself up. You don’t know what you’re doing, fine. Learn it. Make it up. Fuck it up or don’t, but you don’t get a practice run for life, you just start running from the moment you’re born and you never stop.”

“I don’t think I can do it,” Vanya whispered.

Dave thinks his heart might have shattered a bit then at how much a grown woman can sound like a child. 

“Do you want to?”

Silence stretched between them. 

“I want to help people. I want to make a difference. I just don’t know if I can.”

“Vanya, if anyone can do it, it’s you.”

Vanya’s line was quiet before she sighed and said, with an air of resignation, “I’m going to fuck it up.”

“Yeah, you are. And then you’re going to learn from it and do it again until you don’t.”

“It feels like I didn’t get much of a say in this,” Vanya complained. 

“Your job at Channel 8 will always be here. But I’ve got a feeling you don’t really want it anymore.” A pause passed before he asked, “So, will I see you Monday?”

“No. I don’t think you will.”

“Good for you Vanya, I’m glad that you’re getting the kind of recognition you deserve. But if you ever need me I’m there, yeah? I think you might need some friends in your corner.” 

“Thanks Dave. Same for you, but I don’t think I can help with Jenkins, that’s a losing battle.”

“You’re telling me. Good night Vanya.”

“Good night Dave.”

—————————————————————————

“What do you think of Vanya, Diego?”

Allison appeared at his elbow as he walked to his car. He startled slightly, though unsurprised that his sister would track him down like this- he had been expecting it since Ms Smirnov got the job. Bluntly, Diego addressed her question. 

“I don’t know her. I don’t trust her. But I trust Klaus and Ben, and Luther when he’s not being an asshole, and they seem to really like her.”

“But do they even know her? It feels like we’re just letting a complete stranger into the company.” 

“Sounds like I don’t need to ask what you think of her. Have you told Luther about this?”

He shot a sidelong glance at her, just in time to see Allison roll her eyes 

“What, and get lectured about not interfering? I just.. Dad raised us to run this thing, and I trust Five’s judgement but he’s still young, we don’t know everything. Not about business or people, or Umbrella or Dad…”

The uncertainty in his sister's voice put Diego off, and he offered his support in the best way he knew how. 

“I’m gonna make it pretty clear that if she screws us, we’ll put her in jail for life five times over.”

“Do you _really_ think that’s the best strategy for this kind of thing?”

Allison's incredulity was offset by her raised eyebrows but he could tell she appreciated him taking her seriously. 

“Well, Ms Manipulator, if I go in with the knives and threats, it’ll be a hell of a lot more effective than passive-aggressively assessing her from afar.”

The sarcasm in his voice was not unheard, but it was ignored. 

“Oh no, I’m not hanging back. Sugar not spite Diego- if I’m close to her, I know her and then I’ll know if we can trust her,” Allison answered decisively. 

“Telling anyone else about this?” He gestured vaguely, as if to include the whole city, but Allison understood him all the same. 

“Ben and Klaus are too close to this, and Luther trusts nice people a little too implicitly. You don’t trust anyone except Mom and Eudora and us, so you get where I’m coming from.”

“What about Five?” Diego thought her already knew, but a second opinion surely couldn't hurt. 

“I’ve never seen him drop the bullshit with anyone outside of us,” Allison confessed. “He looked pretty set on bringing Vanya in and-”

“The good coffee thing right?” Diego added, eyebrow raised. 

“I’ve seen him insult some of the best coffee in the world but _hers_ he liked? If I didn’t know better, I’d almost say he’s smitten.”

“I think I do know better and I’d say he was definitely smitten.”

Allison went quiet, thinking about how this would affect all of them if Vanya couldn’t be trusted- she just had to be sure. 

They stopped at Diego’s car, and he let out a long breath. No matter whether Vanya Smirnov could be trusted, they would figure it out; they always did. But for now, he had someone to be getting home to. 

“Tell Eudora I say hello.”

“I will. See you tomorrow Allison.”

“Bye Diego.” 

——————————————————————————————

Monday came around impossibly fast. Before she knew it, Vanya was fiddling nervously with her blouse as she waited in the lobby. The tell-tale click-clack of high heels drew her attention to a woman with a golden blonde updo who looked like she walked straight out of a magazine from 1950.

“Hello Ms Smirnov, I’m Grace, I’m to show you to Mr Hargreeves office.”

Vanya hurried to follow her into the elevator as she asked, “What do you do here?”

“I’m a regional assistant, I take care of some of the larger day-to-day work around the office.”

_What a delightfully vague response,_ Vanya thought as they climbed several floors before the doors opened. 

Passing down a corridor and then to the left, they suddenly happened upon a huge office with transparent walls (that Vanya could tell you be a _bitch_ to clean), which meant she could see straight in. Behind an imposing desk, Five Hargreeves sat in an immaculate suit at a computer, surrounded by mounds of paperwork, folders and binders.

Grace ushered her in and Mr Hargreeves looked up, and his smile was enough to remind Vanya exactly why she was standing in this office in the first place (because _how_ you refuse a person so magnetic was a mystery to her). 

A quick glance around to resteady herself led Vanya to notice the plague of disorderliness spread throughout the office, with papers on the couch behind her and in various stacks on the floor around the room. Refocusing her attention to the man in front of her, her gaze was drawn to the floor-to-ceiling glass wall behind him, which was entirely covered in what looked to be mathematical equations written in whiteboard marker. 

Her brow furrowed slightly as she deciphered some lines of working- it was far and away from what she remembered learning in school- but just as quickly, Five recaptured her attention. 

“Ah Vanya, you’re here. I was a little concerned that you wouldn’t be-”

“Not for lack of trying,” Vanya murmured quietly. She thinks he might have heard her, because his lips quirked up as he continued. 

“-I’ll just try to find the paperwork now.” 

  
  


Shuffling around the room, he lifted up a few stacks of paper before he found the document he was looking for and passed it to her. 

“It’s just a general contract, three years unless you’re terminated or have a legitimate reason for resignation. Go ahead and sign, it’s all pretty standard.”

Vanya is a cautious person by nature- she didn’t grow up in the wealthiest area and getting handed anything made her very suspicious. So, despite that Mr Hargreeves was watching her intently and she could _feel_ her face heating up, she couldn’t switch off the voice in her head telling her she needed to check, double-check everything. She started scanning the documents, looking for anything that seemed sketchy or off-putting. 

She ignored Mr Hargreeves laughing and kept reading, but the terms were all technical and she could tell she was going to need a lot more time before she would feel comfortable signing it; it wasn’t the Terms and Conditions, she couldn’t just sign it and hope she hadn’t given them legal rights to her kidneys and metadata. She was signing away three years of her life, Vanya wasn’t going to get tricked into a stupid clause about getting paid less each year, getting screwed on insurance or something similar. 

“I hate to tell you this, but our lawyers are pretty thorough, it’s going to take a while for you to read that.”

Vanya said nothing- she wasn’t going to be baited, she was going to stay calm and not get comfortable and say anything snappy back like _I guess I’ll just take the day then_. 

“Would you rather we operate under a Non-Disclosure Agreement until you’re comfortable with the paperwork?”

“That’d probably be faster, if you do want me to start today.”

  
  


Half an hour later Vanya was being escorted to her new office (which she could only _pray_ was more private than Mr Hargreeves) by Grace and Mr Hargreeves, whose fatal character flaw seemed to be curiosity. 

(She wondered if five was how many lives he had left after curiosity killed the cat.) 

“Smirnov. Is that a Russian name?”

“Yes, it’s quite common. Think of Smirnov as the Russian equivalent of Smith.”

“Are you from Russia?”

“Originally.”

She answered with short statements, ( _don’t get close, don’t hold others down, keep it locked down)_ and Mr Hargreeves seemingly took the hint. 

“You have a meeting today with all the senior executives to introduce yourself and your new position.”

“Which is what exactly?”

“Head of Personal Relations and Innovations. You’ll be handling how we implement a change in the socio-economic and environmental fields.”

“What time’s the meeting?”

“1 pm in Conference room A, Grace will take you there- don’t be late.” 

Arriving at the elevator, he shook her hand 

“I’ll see you then Ms Smirnov.”

“Mr Hargreeves,” Vanya responded, unsure of exactly what she was meant to say.

(She would find that this would become a fairly common theme with Five Hargreeves.)

—————————————————————————

By the time 12 o’clock rolled around, Vanya had fully set up her work computer, had pages of notes about random ideas she’s had (with no idea how to tackle any of them) and had decided that the view out her window of the footpath and the building across from her are great for people-watching but very poor for distracting her from the fact that she isn’t entirely sure how to go about asking what the fuck she is meant to do because at the moment every job description she’s received has been rather up in the air.

So she was kind of glad when Klaus showed up to her office in a skirt (‘ _to get the creative juices flowing’)_ and told her that he and Ben were taking her out for lunch. 

It was only once they sat down at the table and Klaus asked “So how are we?” that Vanya realised she really wanted to tell them how she was- which was weird because usually it was easier just to bottle it up and never let it out, and if any of her friends, ie Dave, wanted to know what she was thinking, they had to learn how to read her because she sure as hell wasn’t going to just say it. 

Instead, she sighed and told them about the meeting she had next. 

“Oh, you’re really going to want to watch out for Ms Handler. She’s a real bitch if you mess up any of her plans-“

“And you just about mess up all of them since she’s been looking for a promotion for ages. She was in line to head the company before Five pissed her off and got in first.” Klaus grinned 

“She’s on a weird vengeance streak at the moment, a lot of trying to undermine Five.” Ben rolled his eyes- obviously he didn’t think much of her strategy. 

“The Handler saw him talk to a girl at one event and now it’s splashed across every tabloid- Five and Dolores apparently-“

“Like he would ever date, he’s practically married to the company and only loves coffee and pissing people off.” 

“Oh was that the model? She’s been everywhere recently.” Vanya asked

“That’s what fame will do for ya. Which reminds me, when is your official debut to the press?” 

“Oh god, I don’t have to do something like that do I?”

“I hate to break it to you hon, but you’re famous now. People know you and with your new job… there’s gonna be a lot of press coverage even just when you’re launching new initiatives.” Ben sounded contrite, but the smile lighting up his face contradicted any sympathy he might have been charged with giving. 

“No, _surely_ I can skip a press conference," Vanya wheedled. 

“Sorry sweetie, everyone is gonna know the name Vanya Smarnivov-”

“-Smirnov-”

“-just think of the advertising opportunities! I can see it now, Vanya’s vacuum cleaner with you starring in the commercial. I should be writing this down, I’ll get the ball rolling as soon as I get back.”

“Don’t you dare,” Vanya said, but she couldn’t help laughing as they tossed slogans and catchphrases between them.

(And she can’t help but wonder if this is what it’s like not to feel alone)

————————————————————————

Vanya made it back just in time for the meeting, and when she walked in, she felt more out of place than she had all day. 

Four men sat around the table, all wearing suits that Vanya was willing to bet were more expensive than her apartment’s monthly rent plus utilities. They all look like identical clones- a little over middle-aged, white males that were slightly balding and she was happy to put another wager on the fact that they were all catholic and conservative. She did have to give them credit that two were wearing glasses but they all wore the same distasteful expression that couldn’t be disguised by a piece of wire on their faces.

Upon seeing her, they seemed to quickly lose interest and Vanya started unconsciously fiddling with her watch.

One woman sat at the head of the table and the cold, assessing look she gave Vanya was enough to make her feel like a slab of meat being weighed and priced. Her hair was a bleached blonde and her angular features served to make her look sour and disinterested. Dressed in all black, her cold beauty felt sterile, with only her perfectly painted red nails and lipstick giving her any colour at all. 

“Thanks sweetheart, I’ll take a tea.” One of the men addressed her and Vanya was too surprised to think about coherency. 

“Er, pardon?”

“You’re the drinks lady aren’t you? I’ll have tea. Honestly, Hargreeves doesn’t even know who he’s hiring, they get more incompetent each time I swear.”

“I-I don’t actually- what I mean is I’m not- I’m um actually-“ she stuttered and fumbled over the words, struggling to not be offended (or at least not show how much she was affected that their immediate thought was that she couldn’t be a corporate personality. _Stupid, stupid, stupid. Be kind, don’t be angry, don’t be selfish.)_

“Actually, she’s the new Head of- what was it again?” That’s the moment when Mr Hargreeves glides into the room with Ms Hargreeves and Vanya can see the shift, as he switches out of his comfortable arrogant smirk into a cool and formal smile. 

“Personal Relations and Innovations,” Allison added. 

“Exactly. She is now effectively an integral part of UmbrellaEnterprises.”

“Hi, Vanya Smirnov. Nice to meet all of you.” Vanya isn’t quite sure where she mustered her voice from, but by god is she glad that it finally made an appearance. 

“This is Mr Beal, Mr Hoare, Mr Prior and Mr Keech.”

Mr Hargreeves gestured to each of the men int turn and Vanya nodded though she forgot their names instantly. She knew she was going to have a problem with that- though in her defence, they all seemed to be wearing identical looks of ‘ _Her_?’ so she feels the odds weren’t exactly in her favour for differentiating them. 

“Vanya, is it? I’m Ms Handler. Lovely to meet you. Where did you come from again?”

It sounded nice enough, but the sneer that increased in the last sentence belied any friendliness that could have been mistaken in her manner. 

“Ms Smirnov has come from her previous position well-educated about the issues she will be dealing with in the day-to-day, Ms Handler.”

Ms Hargreeves responded crisply, with an emphasis on the formal use of her name and a clear meaning- _do not try to undermine her authority._ Vanya could only quietly thank whoever was looking out for her for the gift of Allison Hargreeves. 

“Of course, I would expect nothing less,” Ms Handler replied in a clipped tone. 

“These are the chief members of the board so you might need to discuss company wide policy changes with all of us before they can be properly incorporated. In regards to your work, do you have any ideas you want to run by us right now?”

“I do actually, a few general goals about the energy expenditure and environmental footprint and then some social responsibility and consciousness initiatives.” Once she got the go-ahead, Vanya fiddled around until she found her notes. 

Trying to hide the shaking in her hands, she put them behind her back and started talking in a voice that- while not tremourless- was stronger than she thought she would be able to when she was presenting personal ideas with no preparation whatsoever to a very unimpressed group. 

\------------------------------------------------

“You want to switch us to renewable energy by 2025? Do you know how many locations we have- not to mention how many suppliers and all the money we’ll lose? And to make our products more energy efficient, we sell over a thousand appliances a day! It would be a huge shift of priorities, it’s insanity!” One of the four clones claimed, throwing his hands up a touch melodramatically in Vanya's opinion. 

“I crunched some numbers and while I don’t know the exact figures, you would lose maybe a few million in the first few years," Vanya replied in a placacating tone, though they seemed to jsu ttake it as a point in their favour before she continued.

" _But_ you would easily gain that back and increase profits after the switch. Consumers want environmentally-conscious brands, and if they know they can save money in electricity bills with your products and not contribute to a bigger carbon footprint, your clientele might go up by a million or so in the years following. For a multi-billion dollar company, a million or so isn’t really a huge amount to be losing if you are going to gain it back.”

“Where would the money be lost from though? We don’t just leave it lying around, you know,” Ms Handler asked, eyes watching Vanya intently. _‘How far are you willing to go for this?_ ’ was implied. 

“I’m happy for it to come out of my own salary and if some of the higher executives could be convinced to decrease their pay for a few years for bigger returns, then we wouldn’t need to cut any staff.” Vanya responded. ‘ _All the way.’_

_“_ Of course this is more of a long term goal since it will be a big transition. Correct, Ms Smirnov?” Allison asked and Vanya nodded. 

“This is good work, do you have any other plans?” Mr Hargreeves asked, a lazy grin half-formed on his lips but his eyes were interested and alert. 

It took her a moment to respond because her mind had immediately taken the ‘Ms Smirnov’ and ‘good work’ _far_ out of appropriate _work_ context. Those thoughts were quickly stuffed back into an ironclad box and she hoped her emotions weren’t plainly written across her face. 

“I have a few more on the actual employees of the company-” 

The rest of the meeting went much the same, Vanya trying to prove that she deserves this (‘ _do you though?’_ a little voice wondered in her ear), a general lack of willingness to change from the Suit Squad, pointed questions from Handler, Mr Hargreeves inhaling coffee and making snarky replies if Ms Handler was too obvious in her underpinning of authority and Allison keeping everything moving. 

“Allowing criminals jobs in Umbrella? Is that wise? There could be a backlash from the public about this- could even be some talk of bias if we prioritise diversity over skill,” Ms Handler cautioned innocently. 

“I seem to recall you having a sealed record Ms Handler, I wouldn’t go throwing stones just yet.” Five snipped as he refilled his mug for the third time and grimaced as he took a sip. 

“I’m not saying we prioritise them over anyone else for positions, just give them a fair shot if they are strong candidates and have served their time and want to be done with that part of their past. We could open an interns program exclusively for people on parole to help them retrain if they want to. Just a thought though,” Vanya quickly tacked on at the end as she saw Handler’s hackles rise. 

“We can always come back to it. For now though, it’s Monday afternoon and I would really love to go and buy myself some real coffee. So, Allison, what’s the brief with how we're handling all of this publicly?”

“For now, we don’t need to give specifics about all these projects, but we do probably need to unveil her and the new position. A press conference I would say, maybe tomorrow if we really want to get in before any speculation starts.”

“Great. Gather the sharks tomorrow, toss them some steak and then get them out of here.”

“Am I the steak in this scenario?” Vanya inquired dryly and the surprised smile that Five gave her jolted her out of whatever rapport she had fallen into ( _don’t get comfortable, keep your distance)._

“Just be glad we aren’t roasting you first, defamation of character would probably do it.” He replied and she had to bite back a smile. 

“I’ll set that up, all the regulars, tomorrow at 11 should work fine.” 

“Excellent. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got places to be.” With that, Five Hargreeves seemingly disappeared at the speed of light 

  
  


Vanya had started on her way back up to her office when Ms Hargreeves caught her. 

“Hey Ms Smirnov, how are you doing?”

“I’m fine. You can call me Vanya, Ms Hargreeves.” A light flickered in the woman’s eyes, as if Vanya had just passed a test. 

“Then please, call me Allison. Great presentation in there by the way.” Her friendliness set off a warning in Vanya’s head, but it had been a long day and she couldn’t say for certain whether she was just paranoid or not. 

“It really wasn’t but thank you anyway. I just need to do all the maths for the energy stuff and see if I can talk to some engineers about how some of the products work so I actually know if we can help the customers save some money.” 

Vanya was more talking to herself here and trying to remind herself to _breathe, breathe, breathe, you have time just keep breathing,_ but Allison was listening closely and filed everything she said away into the folder she had in her mind labeled ‘Vanya’.

“Anyway, thank you for putting Ms Handler in her place there. I don’t want to step on anyone’s toes so early on but I think she really doesn’t like me.”

“Handler doesn’t like anyone. I’m pretty sure she worships cash and alcohol and everything else is just a means to an end,” Allison replied derisively. 

“I wouldn’t know I guess, it’s hard to judge someone only by a meeting.” Allison elected not to tell Vanya that she had made up her mind about someone within five seconds of meeting them. “But I am glad that I caught you now. I wanted to talk to you about two things. First of all, I was wondering if I could perhaps invite a friend of mine to cover the press conference?”

“Sure, I mean, one more journalist shouldn’t make much difference.”

“Thank you. It’s just Channel 8 but I do owe Dave more than a few favours and it’ll be nice to have some familiar moral support. I did have one more thing I wanted to talk to you about though.”

“Oh?” They stopped outside Vanya’s office. 

“I just want to say I’m sorry. About judging you and your siblings before I met you and then when I did meet you that it was under such weird circumstances. I know this isn’t an ideal situation because you don’t know me and I’m coming into your whole world of Umbrella. I don’t know if you would want my job even if you got offered it but I’m sorry that I came completely out of left field for you. I really respect you as a woman in the workforce but also as a person for all the work you do in protecting and managing the company, and my arrival isn’t going to exactly go over easy so I wanted to thank you for the thought you’ve put into helping me settle in and everything.” 

(Sometimes Vanya found it was easier to just say what she was thinking when she thought the other person might want to hear it. She didn’t know what Allison was thinking and she was an intimidating presence but Vanya wanted to make it clear that she respected Allison and wanted to thank her for all her work. Maybe it would be easier for Allison to accept her if she knew that Vanya wanted them to be civil.) 

Allison thinks looking back on this moment that most of her doubts disappeared as soon as she saw the sincere light in Vanya’s eyes at the end of her apology. As it was in the present, Allison smiled and gave Vanya a tight hug; her brothers never really let her do that, and she found herself hoping that Vanya would stick around- they could be the girls in the Boys Club that was the business world.

(Vanya wondered if this is a little bit what having a close female friend was like).

———————————————————————————

Diego dropped by Vanya’s office that afternoon. 

“Hi Ms Smirnov. Just wanted to have a chat with you.”

“Oh, uh, Mr Hargeeves come sit down. You can call me Vanya.” The formalities with Diego felt more like a weapon than anything else 

“Ms Smirnov, I’ll be brief. If you in any way hurt Umbrella or my family, I’ll hurt you. My girlfriend is a cop, so I can absolutely do it legally and get away with it.” 

Instead of being scared, Vanya could only find herself smiling. Diego Hargreeves visibly softened when he talked about the woman he loved, and she wasn’t quite sure how to be afraid of someone so obviously just wanting to protect his family. 

“I don’t plan to. What’s your girlfriend’s name?”

“Huh? Eudora, but why do you want to know?”

“It just seems like you really care about her. I’d love to meet her one day, if she ever comes by. Maybe she’d have some tips for someone coming into Umbrella who doesn’t really know much about business.” 

“Eudora is just everything good. She makes everything better.” 

Vanya felt a small smile covering her face. 

“You really love her. I don’t know you, but I know it’s tricky to understand my motives if you don’t know who I am. If talking about ourselves is a bit weird, we can start by talking about the people we love- if you do want to get to know me rather than just making threats.”

“That’d be nice.”

“So, tell me all about her.” 

————————————————————————

When Vanya managed to disentangle herself from Diego’s waxing poetic about Eudora, it was past 5 o’clock and she was more than ready to go home. She waited for the elevator and once the doors open, she came face to face with Five Hargreeves (it was so much more difficult to refer to him as Mr Hargreeves when there were five of them, but she didn’t want to- _couldn’t_ want to get familiar- because how much would it hurt to get rejected by someone so unreachable plus the added awkwardness at work). 

She shuffled into the elevator and looked at the ground as the doors closed. 

“Good job on the presentation this afternoon.”

Vanya shot him a quick smile. Her eyes landed on his mug. 

“Surely that’s not coffee at this hour?”

“I’m practically immune to the caffeine now. I’ve been drinking it for over a decade.” He almost sounded proud at that, as he loosened his tie from around his neck. 

“That _cannot_ be good for you, you would have been like 14,” surprise was clear in her tone. 

“And since then I have never had a bad idea.”

That time he was most definitely boasting and as he sipped from his coffee, Vanya’s attention was drawn to his bobbing Adam’s Apple and then up to his jawline that looked as if it could cut glass. She looked away. 

“That is most definitely incorrect, since you hired me, but whatever floats your boat," Vanya snarked back.

She undid the ponytail that had been pulling at her head all day and ran a hand through her hair to distract herself, closing her eyes briefly. Five watched her and struggled against the urge to reach out and put his hand through it himself. 

(All day he had been thinking about her. It hadn’t escaped his notice that he had been far too informal when he met her- he hadn’t even learnt her last name until this morning- and he needed to be more professional. Her presentation just affirmed that she was perfect- for this role, for the company, for _him,_ which one was hard to say; maybe all of them. But he wasn’t going to force himself on her. She was beautiful and incredible and intellectual and he was not going to make her uncomfortable and force her to quit by putting unwanted advances on her.)

“No, I think I’m right,” he said softly. 

Vanya’s eyes opened to meet Fi- _Mr Hargreeves_ and she was caught.

Frozen and burning, hooked on the icy blue pools that drew her in and she didn’t think she could escape (she didn’t think she wanted to). Her lungs didn’t seem to be working and her stomach flipped over and over again. She heard the elevator ‘ _ding’_ distantly and Five grinned at her as he bent down and picked up her hair elastic, which she must have dropped when he started looking at her like _that._

He held her hand as he slid it gently back on her wrist, and his touch sent shivers down her spine while simultaneously heating her up to feel like she was burning. He smirked at her one last time before leaving and Vanya just stood the elevator, blush still staining her cheeks. 

————————————————————————————

This was a mistake. 

Vanya’s not quite sure _what_ exactly is a mistake, maybe leaving Russia, or being born or accepting this job, but most definitely this press conference. Five minutes before it was set to start, Allison quieted everyone down and even though Dave was shooting her winks, Vanya was struggling to remember if she knew how to breathe and talk without shaking uncontrollably. 

Klaus and Ben had made themselves comfortable up the back and were also sending her thumbs up (Ben) and waves (Klaus).

Luther was corralling the press, but still wished her good luck before disappearing into crowd control. Diego was talking to Mr Hargreeves and from the look of it, Diego was taking the Mickey out of Mr Hargreeves while he waited for the conference to start. Catching his eye, Vanya raised her eyebrow in a question before he gave her a quick tilt of his lips. Looking away, Vanya found Ben and Klaus watching their exchange, as Diego nudged Five again. 

Finally, it started and Vanya wasn’t entirely sure what she was so nervous about. Public speaking when she knew what she had to say; that used to be her job. Sure, she was entirely out of her element in just about everything else but most just wanted to hear whatever it was that she had to say. She gave a quick overview of her proposed goals and she doesn’t remember much else because it flew by so quickly. 

Afterwards, Klaus called her over. 

“Smarnova, lunch?” 

“ _Smirnov_. I actually promised I would go with a friend.”

“Bring them, come on let’s go," he made hurrying motions with his hands. 

A quick check with Dave brought them to a cafe, as Vanya introduced them. 

“Ben, Klaus, this is Dave.”

  
  


Ben held his hand out to shake as Klaus murmured “ _Dave_ ,” and the starry-eyed expression he was sporting was absolutely not unreciprocated. 

Vanya rolled her eyes at Ben at their flirting but she got a look that said something like ‘ _rich coming from you’_ and if that wasn’t a challenge, Vanya didn’t know what was. 

  
  


Vanya and Ben suddenly found themselves _swamped_ with work so they couldn’t go out- though they really needn’t have bothered making an excuse, Klaus and Dave had disappeared before they could finish their epic story about how they were going to single-handedly defeat racism, homophobia and the pay gap in one afternoon with a hippo and a sombrero. 

The two walked to find a different place to eat and when Vanya asked Ben about the look he gave her, he simply rolled his eyes and told her

“You and Five are far more pathetic than those two, so I would not be pointing fingers.”

  
  


Spluttering, Vanya stumbled over her excuses while Ben just laughed and threw his arm around her shoulder. 

Maybe she didn’t deserve this. Maybe she was under qualified and had no idea what she was doing and had a really obvious crush on her boss. But in that moment when Ben was laughing and she was burning with embarrassment, she was happier in those two days than she thinks she had been for years. (Maybe here, she could belong). 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter is watching Five and Vanya get closer more than anything. There are time skips of a few weeks or so, just to show how their relationship is developing. 
> 
> First off, I know nothing about business, so if it shows I am very sorry. 
> 
> Secondly, thank you so much for everyone who left comments and kudos. I literally could not stop smiling, thank you for being so lovely and reading (it's crazy to think that people like the stuff I write, I get the warm fuzzies everytime I think about it). I never know whether to respond but I wanted to let you know all feedback is appreciated!
> 
> Third, I'm not really sure what to think about this chapter so comment and let me know your opinions! 
> 
> I own nothing, please don't sue me

“Vanya, dear I’m so glad you called! I have so many questions!”

Vanya winced, her grandmother was excited and she was now very much wishing that she had sent a text instead. Because while she loved her babushka very much, it had been a long couple of weeks and raised voices felt like a guaranteed headache at this point.

Nevertheless, she pasted on her best smile as she laughed down the phone. 

“Hit me with your best shot then Babushka. I’m still volunteering and washing behind the ears if that’s what you want to know.”

“Always so cheeky! No, I want to hear all about your new job- how is it going? Is everyone being nice?”

Vanya could hear her babushka’s brow furrowing and was quick to reassure her that _yes_ everyone was being nice and it was all fine. There was a grand pause and Vanya was pretty sure her grandmother wanted her to go on...but about something _specific,_ and sure enough-

“So how are your coworkers? Your boss?” Babushka sounded hopeful and she was definitely fishing for something. 

“My coworkers are ok, it’s been a bit of a whirlwind so I’m not super close with many of them.” Vanya figured there wasn’t much point in telling her about all the derisive businessmen and woman, but she had told her a little about the Hargreeves in her recent calls. “My boss is good.”

“Just good? Nothing else to say about Mr Number?”

“I never told you his- how... did you _look him up?”_

She almost _felt_ her grandmother’s shrug then. 

“I wasn’t getting any information from you. You didn’t tell me he was so handsome!”

“He’s my boss Babushka,” she groaned into the phone.

“What, does that make him automatically unattractive?” She could imagine her babushka's cheeky grin and Vanya rolled her eyes at her ridiculousness. 

“No but it does make him _unattainable_. I don’t need to make everything trickier than it already is.”

“Of course, doll. Just teasing. But you have to agree-”

“Yes, he is Mr Tall, Dark and Handsome.”

Vanya couldn’t help but laugh because her relationship with her grandmother may be unconventional but she wouldn’t trade it for the world. 

“You’re focused, not blind, my dear; I raised you well. Speaking of well, how are you? I heard about the flu going around, have you had your vaccination? Are you wearing lots of layers?”

And just like that, she switched from cheeky to concerned and while her babushka may forget it that easily, the conversation lingered in Vanya’s brain longer than she cared to admit. 

————————————————————————————

Vanya isn’t quite sure how it happened, but time started to slip by. 

Somehow, she found herself in a serious meeting about the abstract ideas she had pitched just a few weeks earlier, discussing logistics. They were bringing her vision to life, creating real _difference_ , and _change_ , and… it was a lot more boring than she’d anticipated.

She had been ecstatic about getting the concepts off the ground, but as it turned out, it meant she had to go to a lot of meetings filled with lawyers and businessmen where they argued the same minor points a million times over.

And excited as she was to see Ben actually in Umbrella business (because she was yet to see him do his job, to the point that she had been considering his silver tongue was only used for convincing people that he _had_ a job rather than actually doing it), it faded as he had to struggle to keep the “fastidious lizards” in his department on task. 

A fabulous upside to having so many people in the meeting meant that Vanya no longer had to defend her ideas every two seconds and they weren’t trying to make her trip up like Ms Handler. Another positive was that there were so many people, that no one was paying attention to whatever she was doing. 

Vanya had taken to distracting herself by taking her pens apart- but once she knew she could take apart and rebuild her pen blindfolded in 20 seconds, Vanya had to find a new entertainment strategy.

Her newest favourite was doodling in the margins of the official documents they gave them and/or on her wrist. She had discovered that Dr Seuss’ truffula trees were the most fun to draw and required little to no artistic skill, which suited her purpose perfectly. So she would spend hours getting the flicks of the foliage just right and everyone was none the wiser- or so she thought. 

Vanya sat down one end of the table near Mr Hargreeves, Allison (who somehow managed to wiggle her way out of the meetings on a semi-regular basis and Vanya wishes she could blame her but if she could, she would absolutely _abuse_ that power and extra time) and the more corporate roles while the lawyers and lower management dominated the other end.

She had noticed that while everyone else stayed mostly engaged, Mr Hargreeves spent majority of the meeting either hiding his expression with his mug or looking at the coffee as if he wished it were something stronger (which again, Vanya can’t exactly blame him, the mind-numbing mediocrity of midweek meetings was painful. She’s about 80% sure he has at least two days scheduled off for meetings every week, which would be cause enough for her to have a break down but he seems to be handling it fine- _born for the role, groomed to lead and taught to want it_ ). 

It was a shame too, because in smaller meetings she could usually catch his eye when someone said something stupid and roll her eyes or say something sarcastic under her breath that he would hear and he would laugh quietly.

(And if Mr Hargreeves was addicted to caffeine then she was addicted to his laughter, genuine laughter, not the scoffs he made for idiots or the insincere chortling for business deals. But when he laughed like she had caught him off guard and she found herself trying to find ways to make it happen more often, like a game to see if she could make him smile).

But in the bigger meetings, he slipped back into disinterested CEO. 

Vanya favoured blue pen, which made her drawings stand out if anyone were to look at her page- and Five, as enamoured as he was with her just about _everything,_ was absolutely ‘anyone’ in this scenario.

It took him a while to get a proper look since she covered them most of the time- and his curiosity ate at him, he actually started looking forward to going to the meetings because hey, maybe _this_ would be the one where he would see what Vanya was drawing when she looked so focused. 

(And Five would be lying if he said he hadn’t had to shut down his brain when she made that face, or did a sharp little inhale when she had a small mistake because that was _definitely_ not something he should be thinking about). 

Finally though, when he did get a glance and realised what they were, he could barely suppress his laughter.

Because of course, _of course_ this girl would unironically draw truffula trees, not noticing that she was just about as close to a Lorax as he’d ever seen, because he had never met anyone else who ’speaks for the trees’ and wouldn’t quit it for anything. She was just so inherently good- so different to himself, cynical and jaded and sarcastic. 

(He thinks later on it’s that symbol that reminds him Vanya is going to change the world, and that’s enough to put a smile on his face for the rest of the meeting). 

(When Vanya went into his office the next day and saw a truffula tree drawn in red whiteboard pen amongst his precious equations, she didn’t say anything- only gave him a wry quirk of her eyebrows that had him widening his eyes in faux-confusion- but the warm feeling that enveloped her left Vanya feeling a little giddy for the rest of the day). 

——————————————————————————

Sneering, Ms Handler asked Vanya as she passed her in the hall, “Ready for your _public_ big launch?” 

Vanya can’t even meet her gaze because she was so far in her own head. This was it. Everything she had been working for, her one chance to prove she deserved this. She had one shot at this.

This was it, it would make or break her.

  
  


It broke her. _Selfish, selfish, selfish._

Losing a million on the first day of the environmental switch- she couldn’t even last the month. _Stupid, stupid, stupid._

She didn’t give enough and she made a mistake and _everyone was watching, useless, useless-_

  
  


“I heard about what happened, thought I should come and check in,” Mr Hargreeves said from her office’s doorway. Vanya was busy moving papers around aimlessly, and didn't look up as she told him,

“You have to fire me, Mr Hargreeves.”

“I’m not firing you Ms Smirnov,” the man responded, not looking away from her. His eyes traced her every move. 

“It’s Vanya. But you said it yourself, you know what happened!”

“I’ll call you Vanya when you call me Five, Ms Smirnov. And I have no doubt there is _no_ _reason_ for me to fire you.” 

“I lost you a million dollars. Surely that’s grounds for termination.”

“Didn’t you say to expect that?”

“Well yes, but not in one day! And not with everyone watching me like I’m walking a tightrope above a shark tank!”

“It’s a market dip, they happen all the time. It’s not a reason for me to terminate your contract.”

Any growing confidence Vanya might have had in herself as a person of business had disappeared, destroyed in minutes by the massive loss and marooning her with only her self-doubts once more.

“Then what about all the media coverage? I’m not a good publicity stunt anymore, I’m just attracting bad press!” 

Five went silent before he asked, “Do you think I hired you for shits and giggles?”

“I don’t know! I don’t know you, I don’t know this company! I don’t know what I’m doing!”

“Let me tell you- I did not invent a whole new position just because I thought it would be funny to watch a random woman from the internet stumble through the business world. That’s not why I offered you your job. So something went wrong. It should be ‘Fuck ok, how do we fix it?’. Not, ‘I’ve made a mistake and need to get out’. You’ve had a foot out the door, a safety net ready since we hired you-“

“Can you blame me?’ Vanya burst out- because how could she _not_ be afraid of everything that this high-stakes world entailed, including her unproportionate feelings for her boss. 

“- it’s like you’re afraid that you’re gonna put too much of yourself into this and you’ll get burned. You can’t just give up and quit when things don’t go right.”

Five kept steady, she needed to get the emotions out and he couldn’t just get angry at her (even though it boiled his blood more than just a little bit to see her doubting herself and not believing she was right- because how could she be anything else?)

And the explosion that Vanya had been teetering on the edge of for what felt like eternity couldn’t be contained. 

“That’s what losers say because they didn’t quit at the right time. It sounds so _easy_ when you say it. But everyone has been judging me since that stupid video leaked, maybe even before that, and ever since I have to prove ten times over that I should be taken seriously, that I deserve to have my ideas heard. If I were a man, I’d get told I had a good-head on my shoulders and I was hardworking, and everyone would forget about me losing my first million after I made my first two. But I’m a woman, so I’ll get told I’m not fit for this job, that I’m a bitch and egoistical, and losing this million dollars is going to be hanging over my head for the next ten years.

"No matter how much I make back, no matter how many people I help or programs I start, every interview and article will be written on the implication that I must re-earn my place, over and _over_ again and every good idea I have is compared to this. Because they are good ideas, I just don’t know why I’m the one that has to implement them and that I have to fight every step of the way for a level playing field.”

She gulped in air as her seething anger suddenly dissipated, leaving her only with a hollow emptiness and a hopelessness that drowned her, and a rock the size of a boulder in her throat. “I just want things to get easier but they _never_ do.”

(A funky side effect of bottling up the majority of your emotions and not crying in public ever is the really cute emotional crisis it causes later on. But as this is an after-effect, the only real problem in the moment is holding back the tears as you school your face back into disinterest, as we will now see Vanya attempt)

She wanted to close her eyes and scream and cry and tell every thought she’d ever had and ever worry she’d ever let fester out. But she had to hold it in until she was alone ( _you can’t cry, not here, not now, not with_ him) so she blinked back tears and swallowed her yells, almost keeping it together. 

Almost, when an unbidden memory sprung to her mind. 

Of how when she was alone those tears and sobs and screams wouldn’t come out, they just sat twisted, and rotten and broken inside her and she would know that she was not normal, that she was not whole.

She was alone, and she wished she never was but she was and it hurt with every breath and beat of her heart that she couldn’t just give up (as every fibre of her being screeched at the pain of existence- at the mediocrity of life and the all encompassing nothingness that cost everything she did with ‘why do I care’ and the irritation at feeling like the only one doing anything and the hatred at the uselessness and laziness of her own subconscious). 

  
  


To Vanya’s horror, a tear rolled down her cheek. And then she couldn’t stop them, the floodgates were open and things- both water and words- wouldn’t stop flowing out. 

“Fu-fucking he-ll, I’m, I’m sorry. I do-don’t even know wh-why I’m cry-ing.” She hiccuped, struggling to breathe and talk at once. “Do-don’t you h-have somew-where to be?” 

  
  


Five didn’t quite know what to do in a situation like this- he’s obviously hit the tip of the iceberg and while he knows that he’s shit with emotions, her straight-up asking if he didn’t have to be somewhere stung more than a little ( _she doesn’t want you here, get out, get out, get out- don’t give her the opportunity to hurt you)._

But he can’t leave her here on her own- and he was pretty sure that even his company would be better than dealing with all this alone. 

  
  


Five was still standing in front of her, with his hands in his pockets. He didn’t answer and Vanya busied herself trying to find tissues ( _crying was so stupid_ , _you can’t make it stop and god it was gross-)_ .

Suddenly, she felt her hands being taken in someone else’s. He held them gently. She almost didn’t dare look up, but her gaze was drawn like a magnet to his own and when she met his eyes, she saw such a tenderness in them that it made her only want to sob harder- because what did she do to deserve such kindness? Such understanding? 

She leaned slightly into Five unconsciously as she wept and he pulled her against him as he wound his arms around her and stroked her back. He murmured to her soft reassurances that she couldn’t quite hear (if she could have, she would have heard words like ‘ _you’re safe, I’ve got you, you are worth so much more than you know’_ ) .

There was something so different about crying alone and being held as you cried and in hindsight Vanya is almost certain this was the first time someone had ever done it for her, since she always found it so much easier to cry in private than public. 

  
  


It took a while for Vanya’s tears to finally abate but when they did, emotionally unsteady and embarrassed as she was, she couldn’t help but start apologising as she disentangled herself (both physically and emotionally). 

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry Mr Hargreeves that was so unprofessional of me-“ He interrupted her apologies with a wave of his hand.

“You just cried into my Armani, I think we can comfortably be on first name basis now Vanya.”

She looked away, and it took every bit of Five’s willpower not to gently turn her face back towards him.

“You don’t owe me any apologies for being upset, though you’ll find this may blow over more quickly than you think. But whatever it is that has you upset is not nothing and one day I’m sure that someone (myself included) would want to hear you talk about it. Not necessarily now, and it doesn’t have to be with me, but I’ve been told it can help to express it-”

Five’s subconscious chimed in here with something resembling ‘ _like you’d know’_ in a wonderful resemblance to a sarcastic Ben but he shoved that out of the way. 

“-but I’m more difficult to get rid of than you think Vanya. So I’ll see you on Monday for the morning meeting, that’ll make you wish you _did_ get fired because it’s so boring, with the included shitty coffee.”

She laughed there and Five feels a little bit like he’s been hit in the gut all over again. 

“Thank you Five.”

He nodded, trying not to show how it affected him when she said his name like _that_ and he went to leave, but a thought struck him. 

“You don’t have social media, do you?”

“I mean I have accounts, but my old phone couldn’t handle all the notifications so I deleted the apps.”

Making a mental note about that he smiled as he left calling, 

“Bye Vanya!”

Smiled. Not smirked or sneered or grimaced but _smiled_. Vanya thought she needed to sit down. 

(He had just the most breathtaking smile she’d ever seen). 

———————————————————————

Five loathed Monday morning meetings.

He would petition to get rid of them entirely, but the meetings and mornings must still be had, so he figures that if he merges both tortures into one then it would be better than making it drag out for the eternity of the whole day. 

So it’s with a bad attitude and a snarky smile that he usually greeted these perils. 

On this particular Monday however, he was in a slightly worse mood than normal because while sales had picked up over the weekend, Vanya was still in the war zone for that meeting and he’d be damned if anyone so much as _looked_ at her the wrong way.

(After the things he had seen on social media about it… well, he was glad that Vanya had deleted the apps because he’s sure that she wouldn’t have let him get away with half as much as he’d said to a few choice _assholes_ ) 

And his little amount of optimism was almost fully extinguished when he walked into the conference room to see Ms Handler, Mr Beal, Mr Hoare, Mr Prior and Mr Keech all already waiting with Vanya; none of his siblings or any other department heads in sight. 

  
  


Vanya thought she could see the moment Five’s soul went to go and die, as soon as he caught sight of the almost full room of self-important and irate business people. Quite honestly, she had done the same thing. Sighing, he came into the room and sat down at the head of the table as more people began to trickle in.

Smiling, she nudged him with her foot as he contemplated the coffee once again. She ended up having to kick him about four times before he looked up, appearing resigned to his fate of drinking swill. 

Vanya grabbed his mug and her own before she pulled a thermos out of her bag. 

“What are yo-?”

“Shut up Five.”

Using his first name seemed to stun him, giving her enough time to subtly pour the contents of the thermos into the mugs and place them back on the table. Gesturing for him to try it, he gave her a questioning look before taking a sip and his entire countenance changed. 

“You are an angel sent from above, with the power to make Monday mornings blessed and I will do anything for you.”

Blushing slightly she replied, “It’s coffee Five, not a free pass to Heaven.”

“Same difference. Do you have any idea how many-”

He was interrupted by the shuffling of papers as someone commenced the meeting, which Five took to be his cue to stand up and start asking about profits, margins and targets for the next week. 

(Vanya wonders if it’s normal to find the way he talks about numbers absolutely _obscene_ or if that’s just her and her sleep deprivation. It wasn’t fair that he could look so good in a suit and wear the exhaustion of a Monday so well- not when she felt like she’d been run over by a truck by the influx of work. The smirks he sent her as someone drank their coffee or his sighs as he took a sip of his own hit her without warning and sent warmth to her stomach and chills down her spine- because Five was a controversy and paradox in every way, so she didn’t know why she expected him to affect her in any other way.)

  
  


After the meeting, when they all moved to the elevator, Vanya somehow found herself next to Five as they all squished in together.

She was desperately fighting the urge to lean into him when he himself bent over slightly (another thing that was unfair was that he was 6 foot and that for some reason whenever he brought attention to it Vanya couldn’t help but blush). 

“So what am I,” he murmured in her ear, “going to have to do to get coffee again next week?” 

It seems that fair is only a weather condition.

Because his voice was low and just a little bit rough and trying to think up a response to that without falling victim to the hundreds of _inappropriate_ scenarios where he could use that voice- it was like picking through a field of landmines. 

“I-I’ll have to think about it,” Vanya manages to weakly say and then she looks determinedly at the floor. 

She will _not_ look up, she can feel him smirking.

(She looked up. His smirk grew by a mile and she just _knew_ her focus would be shot to hell for the rest of the day). 

—————————————————————

It was finally Friday.

Vanya had wanted to go home early but she just had some paperwork to do and she knew that if she didn’t do it before the weekend it would hang over her.

So it was about 6 o’clock when she turned off her office lights and turned to go (glad because she was still out earlier than she used to be at Channel 8 from the 7 o’clock broadcast) but she slammed into a roadblock that had not been there a minute ago.

“Sorry Vanya, I wasn’t sure if you’d still be here.”

Five Hargreeves was a sight for sore eyes (as always). His suit jacket had been abandoned, his shirt sleeves were rolled up to the elbows and his tie loose and while Vanya knows it’s a far cry from what most people wore on Friday nights, rumpled as he was, Five was easily the best thing she had seen in a while. 

“I was just finishing up. What can I help with?” 

“These are the estimates from accounting about this sector’s spendings, but I remembered you saying something different to what’s here.” He handed her the sheets and running her eyes over it briefly, she felt something sink to the pit of her stomach. 

“I sent them my estimates but these are- pretty different.”

“I thought so. I’m pretty sure they’ve used the numbers from last sector, which had a completely different budget and allocation of just about everything.”

“Ok, so does that mean this has to be fixed?”

“It means it’s got to be entirely redone tonight.” Five sighed then took a deep breath and gave her a wry half-smile. “Never mind, I’ll see you on Monday, Vanya.”

“Do you mean ‘never mind, it can wait until Monday when the department is here’ or ‘never mind, I’ll fix it tonight but you go home and enjoy your weekend’?”

His silence told her everything she needed to know. 

“Alright, let’s go up to your office, it’s bigger.”

_“‘Let’s’?”_

“Well I’m not leaving you to do it on your own, Five. These are my numbers anyway, I can give you a hand.” 

  
  


And so that’s how Five found himself sitting on the floor of his office, papers strewn about his couch and Vanya’s heels sitting next to him, while she sat at his desk and bemoaned the set-up of his computer.

“How do you get anything done? Every file is called the same thing! Oh my god you have so many tabs open. You surely don’t need that many, it’s counterproductive and anxiety-inducing.”

Five figures he probably shouldn’t point out he has more than one desktop on that computer and they all have the glowing array of google searches. 

Vanya waded through the disorganised mess of Five’s computer and found what she was looking for. Printing out a copy of both the budget for last sector and this one, she passed them to Five as he compared the lists. 

“Do you want the good news or the bad news?” 

“Bad news.”

“Ok bad news is they really fucked this up. It’s going to take a while to fix.”

“What’s the good news then?”

“I’m hungry and we’ve got sandwich provisions. You want one?” 

  
  


Fast-forward several hours and two peanut butter and marshmallow sandwiches (which sounded gross but were surprisingly good) and Vanya was laughing at Five as he tried to explain quantum physics to her. 

“Think of it like separating objects from their surroundings and then analysing how they exist because then you can start getting into the uncertainty principle and wave-particle duality and that’s where the maths starts to really come in handy-” 

He drew on the glass wall and spun to face her. And she was just smiling, watching him.

“Is this why you have glass walls and whiteboard markers? For whenever you want to ‘let loose’ and do some quantum mechanics?”

“It was my one stipulation with getting the job,” he deadpanned and she laughed again. “But I guess the numbers just make sense to me.”

“Speaking of numbers,” Vanya said as she stood and wobbled her way over on numb legs to the notepad where they’d written all their costs. “Why do we need to have this done by tomorrow?”

Five groaned as he stretched and followed her, looking over her shoulder at the pad. 

“My father is nothing if not a specific kind of authoritarian asshole. If headquarters releases the budget for the sector to all the other locations at 7am on Saturday, then everyone can align their allocations with ours which makes it easier to keep everything together. Plus it meant that Reginald didn't have to deal with any direct backlash because it had all died down by Monday.”

She raised her eyebrows but didn’t say anything.

Five glanced at her, watching the way her eyes scanned the page; how her hair fell gently down her back, how the light caught on her cheeks and shadow fell across her face, how her eyelashes fluttered- how she was so very obviously _real_ and _alive_ and _brilliant_.

She was here, however it had happened. Somehow her life had led her here- a beautiful and intricate person, all her decisions and influences ended up with her _here_.

He wondered what it would have been like to have a choice. And so he couldn't help but ask. 

“What was your childhood like, Vanya?” 

She blinked at the unexpected question, but she sensed that this was something really important to him. 

“Well, I was raised by my grandmother in Russia. We didn’t have a lot of money, so we didn’t live in a great part of town. I saw a lot of people who had served their time or who never even had a chance and they were just stuck there. That’s why I really want to start getting some diversity in the company. I knew some people who would have done anything just to be able to get an _interview_ at a place like this." 

She gestured at the room around them, glass walls and all, as she sighed. 

"They weren’t bad people. Just got dealt a shitty hand and got pushed into circumstances that didn’t allow for a heap of morals. We were never in that sort of position, but there were some days when it didn’t look like we were going to make rent.” 

Vanya didn’t look up, she was sensitive about telling people this, about the way that she had grown up in less than ideal conditions- especially someone who had known they were heir to a billion dollar company. 

“That’s pretty incredible that you’re making that difference for people now. Were you happy?”

_What a peculiar question,_ Vanya thought. 

“Yeah. I think I was. What about you- one of the famous Umbrella heirs, that must have been...” she trailed off. 

“It was _something,"_ Five answered. "My father had a lot of expectations, everything was a competition, for who would be the best, who would _win_ the company. Lucky me. We didn’t have much choice in what we could do, he had a plan and we were all just parts of it. It wasn’t quite the picture perfect everything that Dad tried to make it out to be.”

Things started to fall into place. 

Five’s special smirk for doing the opposite of what his father wanted, why Luther had really wanted to know what she thought of them (of what they looked like from the outside looking in), why the Hargreeves stuck together whenever anything went to shit (why when they lost that first million they had all rallied around Five for the public appearances, why they had all stood close to her and not let the press see her, why they had directed away all questions about Hargreeves Senior and why she still hadn’t met him). 

She looked up at him, empathy drawn in her expression. 

“I’m so sorry. You didn’t deserve that, none of you did. That’s just really shitty.”

Five laughed a hollow sort of laugh as he shrugged, avoiding her gaze. 

“Yeah well, he was, so. Doesn’t really matter now, he might be the founder but I’m the CEO so he can’t touch us. I _really_ pissed him off when I hired you, almost as much as when I picked up my side degrees.” 

Five’s smirk was nothing short of proud at that, and Vanya knows it’s not of her but she blushes all the same 

“We should probably try to finish this now.” 

Vanya nods and they set back into the work, sitting cross-legged, side-by-side. 

  
  


“Please Vanya, you don’t know what you’re doing to me. Please just let me-” 

“I’m not giving you the coffee Five, it’s 11pm.”

“We’re not even halfway done, we’re going to be here for ages, I can’t function without it,” Five pleaded. 

“We’ve done the outline, we just need to figure out the expenses of pretty much everything and then we’re practically done.” 

“That’s like saying you’ve read 100 pages of a 600 page book and claiming you’re ‘almost, not quite halfway there’. There’s about three different handicaps on that phrase.” His snark seemed to have re-emerged. 

“You had at least three cups of coffee this morning alone and I know you’ve had one since 4pm. That much caffeine is not good for you.”

Vanya made a small note on the page she was reading. 

“Are you counting my cups for my coffee intake?”

“Yes, I can’t believe no one has done this before, you’re a walking heart attack with all this coffee and those diabetes-laced sandwiches.” 

“No one ever bothered, because I’m fine-”

“The amount of equations written on that board after you told me that’s what you do to relax begs to differ, and if you die young then that means I’ll have to get a new boss which is such a hassle since I’ve already broken you in and everything-” Vanya interrupted. 

“-and Grace used to make those sandwiches for me everyday as a kid. It’s perfectly healthy, she would know, Dad programmed her.”

Vanya was skeptical. 

“Grace, your secretary, is to blame for your obsession with peanut butter and marshmallow sandwiches? And programmed? What, was he running a brainwashing facility?” 

“She’s a robot, Dad made her to look after us as kids and then to assist in the company.”

“She’s a _what_?” 

  
  
  


“Five, four, three, two, one. Happy Saturday!” 

The sleep deprivation had really taken hold.

Vanya was draped across the couch while Five sat leaning against the wall. Vanya had repeatedly dropped her calculator on her face while Five was starting to need to check some of his sums on paper (which for him was absolutely slipping). But the trading quips back and forth hadn’t subsided. 

“You absolute idiot. What were you even trying to do, there is no way that you can pay off the lawsuits with $300, asshole. I should fire you."

“The accountant was doing their best Five," Vanya half-heartedly attempted to placate him. 

“Well their best is still pretty shit. How is it that the whole department missed that they weren’t meant to be using this structure?”

“It is literally their one job,” Vanya agreed as she punched in the numbers to the calculator and prayed to any deity listening that it would add up because she was likely to break the calculator if it didn’t. 

It did not. 

“Hey Five?”

“Mhm,” he hummed, not taking his eyes off the ceiling as he tried to add together all the expenses for shipping. 

“What time is it?”

“It’s 2am.”

“Do you still want coffee?”

“As long as there’s air in my lungs.”

“I’m gonna go make some,” she mumbled and Five grinned.

“You’re the best Vanya.”

“Yeah, yeah I know,” she waved his compliment away as she made her way out of the office. 

  
  


“How do you make it so much better?”

“It’s a trade secret, Five. I’ll never tell.”

“I’m sure I could persuade you,” he murmured into his cup, just so very grateful for her to be here. 

  
  


They watched the sunrise as they finally submitted the accounting details. 

“Thank you Vanya.”

“That’s alright Five,”

And the peace that settled between them in the silence of the morning was well-worth the wait in darkness. 

———————————————————

Later that Saturday night, Vanya was sitting in her apartment with Ben, Allison, Dave and Klaus as she told them about her Friday night. 

“I can’t believe no one noticed before then. I’m surprised that Five would look over that on a Friday afternoon.”

“He always looks over the financials, brother dear is a bit paranoid,” Klaus tells her from his position practically in Dave's lap. 

“Wait, so it was just you two?” Allison asked, eyebrows flying up. 

“Yeah, everyone else had gone home and I guess Five knew no one would want to come back. He told me I could go but I didn’t want to leave him on his own.”

“You know that Five could have just called the five of us? Stuff like this has happened before and we managed to finish it before 12.” Ben reminded her

“Huh.”

The Hargreeves siblings, minus Five of course, had all agreed it was painstakingly _, agonisingly_ slow watching their antisocial brother and friend dance around each other. So a little shove, so to speak, in the right direction might not be out of place. 

  
  


“So why didn’t he call us?” Allison prompted. 

“I- I don’t know.”

“Guys you’re rushing her. Trust me, I’ve known Vanya the longest, I’ve got this.” Turning to Vanya, Dave asked, “Did you talk about the social media thing?”

“What social media thing?”

“Oh my god. Does she not know?” Klaus questioned

“I had to get rid of all the apps, my phone couldn’t handle all the notifications. What social media thing?”

Klaus cackled and his boyfriend had to put a hand on his leg to stop him from physically bouncing out of his seat in excitement. 

“This is going to be hilarious,” Ben whispered to Allison and she grinned back. 

Vanya however, became oblivious to all of this as soon as she saw Klaus’ phone screen. 

  
  


There were hundreds of posts with her tagged, some generic 

( _@Vanya-the-Violin I love your new initiative! #SaveTheWorld_

_@Vanya-the-Violin what do you do to your hair???_

_I’d let @Vanya-the-Violin run my company any day #FemaleFive)_

  
  


And then there were some more recent ones 

( _Can Vanya Smirnov (@Vanya-the-Violin) be trusted?_

_@Vanya-the-Violin has lost @UmbrellaEnterprises a million dollars, the disappointment of a weak-willed woman in power_

_@Vanya-the-Violin is such a bitch, she shouldn’t have got the job_

_@Vanya-the-Violin is a whore, @HJenkins from Channel 8 says she was harassing him)_

  
  


Vanya had figured there would be some backlash, but she hadn’t had to directly deal with it- and while it hurt to have that many people hate you who didn’t even _know_ you ( _selfish, stupid, be better)_ she knew there was little to be done about it 

“I mean, I knew there was going to be negative opinions- that’s not exactly new, guys.”

“We’re not just talking about that. When we saw it, Allison put out some posts from Umbrella saying we support you and that anyone making especially offensive comments like the Harold Jenkins one could get sued. But some of the Hargreeves don’t know how to let sleeping dogs lie.”

And upon saying this, Ben took Klaus’ phone and showed her the comments of the last post 

‘ _@HJenkins I did a background check on you and you have more than ten court cases against you for sexual harassment, all with witnesses and waiting to be processed. I’d also suggest getting those anger management issues looked at if you ever want to get in front of the camera for more than the weather. @Vanya-the-Violin is smarter and better at her job than the majority of the people on this site and if I see anyone calling her anything like that again, I will dig up every bit of data about you, hang out all your dirty laundry to dry publicly and then run your name through the mud. You won’t get employed anywhere no matter what profession you’re in. And I fucking dare someone to call Vanya Smirnov #FemaleFive one more time because she is better than I could ever be.’_

“Is that-“

“Yep, that’s Five, the little shit. But he did hit the mark there.”

Vanya sat down. 

“Why would he do that?”

“Well, let’s think. Why would a corporate asshole with seemingly no feelings publicly tell everyone and anyone to fuck off on being dicks to a girl? God, this really is a tricky one-” Ben contemplated sarcastically. 

“You like Five don’t you Vanya?” Allison asked. 

“She’s infatuated with him, I’ve never seen her like this even with her old boyfriends,” Dave offered. 

“I’m not _infatuated_ with him.”

_“_ But you do like him?” Klaus pursues

It’s not exactly as if I’ve done a good job of hiding that. I couldn’t be more obvious about that than if I was wearing a neon flashing sign,” Vanya said resignedly.

They’d been badgering her for weeks about this, she’d pulled an all nighter and didn’t have the energy to bother denying the fact that she found their brother attractive. 

“Progress, finally! Then you know that Five likes you.”

She shook her head as Klaus continued, “That’s why he didn’t call us, that’s why he responded to that (and a few other) posts, that’s why he was so insistent on making sure you accepted the job.”

“He doesn’t like me, he can literally have any girl or guy in the world. Why would he pick me? He’s _Five Hargreeves._ ” 

And she was right, in a way. His name was Five Hargreeves- though to her, he was just Five. 

Five, who listened to her. Five, who she could (and had) listened to talk about physics and maths for hours and remain engaged. Five, who was antisocial and rude and brash and more emotionally stunted than her and everything she had never realised she had always wanted. Five, who she was most certainly in love with and Five, the man she would never tell about her feelings. 

He was sharp where she was soft; when she felt forced to say ‘yes’ he had no problem saying ‘no’. When he was never worried about what anyone thought of him, she was constantly wracked by anxiety of needing to never hear criticism about herself. When she would stay quiet even when she had something to say, he would say anything even if he had nothing to say. He was tall and impressive and handsome and she was small and unimportant and ordinary. 

She would live in the world while he changed it, a mere onlooker to history. 

And she would wonder at how she could have made such a mistake as falling in love with him. 

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the angst but it fits well with what my plans are for next chapter. 
> 
> Take care of yourselves, here's one of my favorite sayings for positive vibes:  
> You live most of your life inside your own head, so let's make it a nice place to be. 
> 
> (Did I base my username solely off this? Yes, yes I did)


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is a bit shorter than the other chapters, but there's a bit in there that I'm not so sure about.... let me know what you think because I'm pretty sure that (after writing this) I may need to rewatch the entirety of Umbrella Academy to properly hit those characteristics- though I might just do that for fun anyway!
> 
> Please comment even if you don't read the whole thing, let me know what I can improve on!

Five always had wondered when his emotional trauma would surface- he assumed that his having no meaningful relationships and fucked-up family relations were the extent of his childhood’s damage.

Obviously not, because where Five had unending confidence with everyone else, Vanya made him more nervous than he thinks he has ever been.

Maybe because she doesn’t believe him blindly, maybe because this is one of the few times he’s ever had to prove that he’s smart and maybe because this is the only time he’s actually given a shit about what someone else might think about him. 

  
  


Sometimes it felt like he was back in his childhood home, and Reginald was telling them they would have to earn the company, earn their place- and then he held Five back and told him that he would know if Five didn’t put in the effort, if he decided to ignore his benefactor’s carefully laid plans then all hell would be to pay. 

That was the day Five realised his father was full of shit. 

Bullshit, of the best and highest quality. 

Because he could bluster all he wanted but he needed them- needed successors to his ‘great almighty throne’, ones that he had trained who knew what the company was based on and who would carry it on with his best interests. Reginald Hargreeves needed the children he took from orphanages- which he never ceased reminding them- to become Umbrella more than they needed him. 

Five felt vaguely like Pip from Great Expectations after discovering his benefactor and knowing he would have to deal with all that it entailed. But Five Hargreeves was better than Mr Pip because his plan would dispose of his benefactor entirely out of his life and then what’s more, he would give him the final fuck you salute of becoming head of his company and then doing the exact opposite of whatever it was that Reginald wanted.

It was petty and perhaps at juvenile stages then, but he’s had time to refine it because since the day Five has known he didn’t need the old man, and that everything he would do was for himself only- and maybe his siblings, if they hopped on the ‘Reginald-Hargreeves-is-a-self-absorbed-prick-who-gets-high-off-trying-to-control-us’ train. It was a long, hard haul; Five stopped pretending he respected Reginald after he got out of that godforsaken house and while his rise to the top was one of the fastest in history, he knew his father had only been trying to evade the inevitable. 

A long time had passed since that initial day when he discovered the founder and CEO of UmbrellaEnterprises to be like a shitty piñata from the $2 store- but instead of confetti falling out when you hit him where it hurt, it was a load of crap about ‘being the best’ and ‘deserving Umbrella’. But Five still remembers how he felt- initially mildly nervous about what he could possibly do to get into even more trouble and then his stomach bottoming out as he flew on the elation of the revelation that he was inexpendable. 

Sometimes when he was talking to Vanya he felt a bit like that. A little nervous about whether he was going to make himself look stupid but then they started talking- and all of a sudden he didn’t care if he looked stupid because it would probably make her laugh, and anything that would do that was well-worth everything else. (And maybe, just maybe, if he could make her laugh like that then he would be in inexpendable to her). 

  
  


Another thing he had discovered about talking to Vanya, was that if he said what he was thinking, more often than not it would make her blush.

(And Five had found that when pink rose in her cheeks to colour her features and she unconsciously licked her lips, Vanya was even more enticing than usual- though not as much so as when she would talk back and give as good as she got, because then she was downright _alluring)._

But other times, she would simply laugh. And that was something. 

No one else ever seemed to understand that his natural state was sarcastic and that majority of what he said would be coated in a general layer of sardonic humour before the audience could process the true meaning of what he was saying. This either meant that they missed his sarcasm and took him seriously or they assumed he had no agenda underlying his witticisms- both wrong and irritating to deal with, when they couldn’t separate tone from content. 

Vanya though. She understood him; laughed when he said something she found funny but always picked up on the implications of his statements (something even his all his siblings, even though they grew up together, still can’t master). Five doesn’t think he’s ever been so efficient in the office, especially in communicating his ideas because once Vanya understands what he means, everything seems to fall into place because somehow she has a way of making it sound more coherent than he could think to put it, without ruffling feathers (Five isn’t sure he’s ever tried not to ruffle feathers because it’s _so much fun_ but he supposes that’s just him). 

  
  
  


So Five _knew_ Vanya was the first one to understand his meaning when he brought up the corporate mixer with his siblings, and that’s also how Five knew she was going to try and get out of it because she very much _did_ _not_ try to get across his message 

“We’ve got to do some more ass-kissing this year if we want to make our targets, especially for funding,” Five begins. 

“No can do, Five. Most of us are in committed relationships, excluding Ben, but I don’t think anyone would want him kissing their ass.”

“You’re a delight Diego. Truly.”

Five decidedly didn’t mention how _he_ wasn’t in a relationship because he just _knew_ that was the kind of opening they would pounce on and he refused to give them that kind of satisfaction. He might be pining for a woman who seemed to have little interest in him other than as a friend or boss, but he didn’t need his siblings to tell that to her face while he was present. 

“I’d be great at kissing ass,” Ben muttered.

“Sure you would Ben,” Allison consoled. 

  
  


Sprawled out as they were in Five’s office (easily the biggest of all of their offices), Five was finding it difficult to keep all of them on the ball. He knew he’d have to pitch the idea to family first and he figured since Vanya was close with all of them and seemed to have a calming affect, having her in the room would make matters easier. 

  
  


“Is there a point to this conversation?” 

“We have to cater to some rich pricks for donations with some pretentious gathering,” Five clarified. 

“What, like a fun-run?" 

Five maintains that sometimes, he cannot physically stop himself from rolling his eyes. 

“No Luther, not like a fun-run.”

“Well, why not?” He asked, nonplussed. 

“Because no one has ever come back from a fun-run and said ‘That was _such_ a good fun-run I’m going to donate ten thousand dollars to that company’-" 

And that was when Vanya finally spoke up, even though Five was certain she’d known what he’d been getting at the whole time. He was also pretty sure she’d refrained from saying it because she thought he would be persuaded to different ideas by his siblings (' _Far too much faith to bestow upon them,'_ he thought) but was now feeling the resignation creeping into her resolve. 

“So, a party?”

“Yes, a corporate party, a mixer for attracting potentially big clients or philanthropists-" 

“Hardly like Umbrella is a cause generally associated with philanthropy because _capitalism_ but sure, whatever floats your boat.”

Five smirked here because he could hear Vanya’s spunk coming back, even if it was a little reluctant- though that reluctance didn’t stop him from responding,

“Ahh, that’s the kind of support and positivity I want to be hearing from my Head of Professional Inventions and..." 

“-Personal Relations and Innovations. Jesus, Five, you created the position surely you can remember it-" Allison corrected. 

“Whatever, you got it. Point is, we need to organise this for about a month’s time.”

“Would giving even just the smallest bit of notice kill you, Five? Do you know how many people might already have commitments-" 

  
  


Vanya privately thought that’s _why_ he waited this long, he had confessed to her that if some guests couldn’t come to things like this then they’d just send money as appeasement anyway and it sounded as if Five wanted to maximise profits and minimise his exposure to corporate jackasses.

(And his smirk wasn't exactly dissipating her suspicions- among other things, including her urge to laugh, the weightless feeling in her stomach despite her anxiety for the upcoming event and the images from the folder in her mind titled ‘Things You _Really_ Shouldn’t Think/Remember About Five’, which was growing at an alarming rate and Vanya was struggling to contain). 

Overall, Vanya was easily the most reluctant about the idea- sometimes she forgot that they were _raised_ for this sort of stuff.

Because when she was laughing with Allison, Ben and Klaus, when she listened to Diego talk about Eudora like she put the stars in the sky and he teased her about Five, when she talked to Luther and he had unwavering loyalty and faith in her, when she was rolling her eyes at Five, or he smirked and winked at her while she was talking during meetings, or when he looked at her with profound gratitude for bringing coffee, or she simply got lost in having someone to bounce her sarcasm off; sometimes it was hard to remember that they were a part of this world that she could only ever look in on. 

Allison and Ben seemed indifferent- their jobs were literally sweet-talking people, so Vanya couldn’t be surprised. Luther looked like he was trying to recall if he needed a new suit and Klaus seemed fairly apathetic towards the idea as he examined his nails in great detail. Diego, meanwhile, was taking the opening while he could see it. 

“Would we all need to go to this? I mean, I’m Head of Security, it doesn’t _really_ seem like I’d be-" 

“Diego, I swear to God, if I have to be there as a new hire then _you,_ as part of the Hargreeves dynasty, are showing up- Eudora or not,” Vanya shot back, pulling him back onto the couch as he made to get up.

He may look as tough as anything but he knew that Vanya would sic Grace on him if he tried to pull anything (who didn’t seem like she could do much damage but he would feel her disappointment from kingdom come and he wasn’t going to do that to her). 

“Alright, just a thought! No need to get grabby.” 

————————————————————————

Because Allison’s superpower seemed to be manipulating people right where she wanted them, the mixer was set to occur two weeks after their conversation in Five’s office- and since Umbrella’s corporate events were always around this time in the year so they kept their calendars open, most guests could come. And since it was on a Saturday, Vanya wondered if she could get away with saying she forgot. 

The answer was a resounding _no,_ because in the middle of the afternoon when she heard a knock at the door, she opened it to find Klaus and Allison standing on her doorstep. 

“Hey guys, what’re you doing here?”

“If you thought we were going to let you get ready on your own, you must think we don’t know you at all,” Allison replied as Klaus swanned in and added,

“We’re also the most fashion-forward Hargreeves and you don’t even know what you’re wearing.”

  
  


Vanya went to protest- but she realised she didn’t have anything to defend since it was technically _true_. She sighed heavily all the same, as they both faced her with identical grins. 

  
  
  


She doesn’t quite know how they did it, but all three of them are ready when the time to leave rolls around, even with all the extra time they spent on her because ‘ _Five is going to shit bricks when he sees you, he can barely take his eyes off you normally and with you in a dress- he’ll probably start drooling’_ and Vanya rolled her eyes, but she couldn’t deny she felt a little more confident once her makeup was done. 

“Nothing too heavy,” Allison had told her. 

“Just enough to accentuate your natural beauty,” Klaus completed.

She’d almost cried then (because _no one ever really tells you you’re beautiful, not without strings attached like ‘in that dress’ or ‘with that haircut’, but hearing someone say your ‘natural beauty’- as if you always are…_ in a world where genuinely kind words were rare, Vanya couldn’t help but tear up when she heard that compliment stated as if it were simply fact) but they both rushed to tell her a joke so she wouldn’t ruin the eye makeup.

Before they left though, she drew them in close to her and whispered, “Thank you, both of you, so much,” she pulled away slightly so she could look them in the eye as she said “I’m not sure how long I would have lasted without you two at Umbrella.”

“Vanya, darling, you never need to thank us. You’re like our sister.”

“And when you tell us that you are going to become our sister legally, courtesy of Five-" 

And that’s when Vanya laughed (even though it burned a little bit because _why would Five like her when she was just herself_ ). 

  
  


It was only once she arrived that Vanya really wanted to turn on her tail and run, but it was too late because now she was here and people had seen her so they would know if she skipped out early. She managed to get her hands on a drink and so she was watching quite comfortably from the sidelines as the Hargreeves did what they were trained to do, what they were meant to do- seamlessly gliding from one person to the next- when Ben appeared at her arm. 

“You know you’re meant to talk to people at these things, right?” 

“I don’t know anybody, I guess I can’t do any networking. Such a shame too,” she responded airily and Ben rolled his eyes, pulling her by the wrist to the nearest group of people. 

“This is Vanya Smirnov, our best and newest addition to UmbrellaEnterprises,” Ben introduced loudly. 

And all of a sudden, Vanya was in the spotlight and it- it wasn’t so bad. She still bumbled a little but she answered their questions and asked her own and somehow she was in conversation with some of the richest people in the country and she wasn’t self-conscious. Rather, she managed by some miracle to steer the discussion back to the company to get their agreement that Umbrella needed more funds and they were willing to give them. 

It was entirely absurd but it was true- it happened. Vanya was still riding off that confidence high as the group dispersed and seeing Klaus standing with Dave made her grin even wider. She went to make her way over but Vanya saw Diego standing with a woman and she just had to ask. 

“Hi, are you Eudora?”

But she could tell from the way that Diego looked at her, the care and the admiration and the love that was apparent with his every action, that it couldn’t be anyone else. 

“I am, are you Vanya? The Vanya that Five-" 

“Yep, that’s Vanya,” Diego interrupted. Eudora looked at him, and they seemed to have a brief conversation with their eyes before she turned back to Vanya. 

“I have heard so much about you.”

“Ditto. So, you’re a police officer? How did you meet Diego?” 

And they were off and running, it only took a few potshots at Diego for Vanya to fully embrace Eudora’s warmth and from there Vanya was more at ease than she had been the whole time at the party. Diego had to keep mingling, so they stood off to the side and talked until Vanya realised Allison would probably kill her if she didn’t talk to more people, so she slipped away when he came back. 

  
  


Drifting away from them, she headed over to Klaus and Dave- who she noticed looked like he had been similarly hit by Cupid’s bow as Diego. 

“Hey guys, how are we doing?”

“How are we doing? The better question is how are you doing Svenorn-" 

“Smirnov, you weren’t even _close_ that time Klaus-”

“- since I just heard you managed to swindle a bunch of tight-asses into giving us some of their savings accounts.”

“Their savings accounts?” Laughing, Vanya tried to remember the wording of their agreement. 

“According to that guy that I can’t remember the name of.”

“Didn’t he give a huge donation last year?” Ben asked as he sidled up next to them. 

“Don’t they all?” Dave asked, genuinely curious. 

As Klaus began to explain tax-deductible donations to his boyfriend- and receiving a snappy but amused ‘ _I know how to do my taxes_ ’- Ben nudged her slightly and smiled. She smiled back, because he knew he was thinking the same thing- while Ben had looked out for Klaus all his life, Vanya had been friends with Dave for years, and watching the two of them together was sweeter than she could have anticipated, as the two fit so easily together.

(Even if spending time with couples only made it more obvious that while she had more friends now, she still felt a little alone. And she didn’t want to _want_ someone, but she did- and the fact that someone was Five didn’t make her feel any less lonely, only more aware that this was now her state of being). 

  
  


Unconsciously, she wandered slightly away from the group as she noticed the orchestra playing. It had been a while now since she had played her violin properly, though she still liked to play little tunes on it whenever she could.

So enthralled as she was, she didn’t notice someone was standing beside her until Five asked, “What are you thinking about?”

Vanya started, but upon realising who it was, she relaxed. 

“Just the orchestra. I played the violin as a kid, still do a little bit now. It’s a fancy shindig, this one.”

“A lot of the partners and our donors like classical musical, so we’ll call it strategic investment. What specifically about the orchestra though? You’ve got this look on your face that you always get when you’re thinking really hard about an idea.”

Vanya felt her face flush slightly, and she threw her eyes back to the orchestra. 

“When I was learning music, my teacher used to say that a composer would set up a whole piece of music off just the first bar or so. She called it a motif, like a fragment of music, and then they’d add variations on it and develop it for the song- but the motif would be the roots. And it just makes me wonder I guess.” 

She paused and seeing that Five wasn’t going to interrupt her, she continued. 

“So I might have started with this small thing about the environment, but now everyone else is a part of it and they’ve made it better than I ever could have and I’m just wondering if I only have one motif in me. It’s like- if say, so if I was a violin. I might start with this motif but then someone else might pick it up, like if you were the drums and you picked up its rhythm. And you made it more interesting because people listen to the rhythm- everyone likes the drums; no one wants to hear the violins.” 

Vanya couldn’t bear to look at him after that particular word vomit, so she watched the violins all move their bows together and all the ensemble unconsciously swaying in time as they played. The silence stretched just past the realm of time taken to formulate an appropriate and short response, so she stole a quick glance at Five, who was watching her with a gaze that was piercing and an open expression.

“Vanya,” he breathed before strengthening his voice. “You’re the whole goddamn orchestra.”

And if that didn’t stop Vanya’s heart (because how could he _say_ things like that, when she knew he didn’t mean it), but she tried to be flippant. ( _Lock it up, don’t drag others down-)_

  
  


Vanya laughed as she looked back to the musicians, so she didn’t see the look Five gave her (the one that said _how could you not know how special you are)_

_“_ What would that make you then, Mr Hargreeves?”

“I guess I’d be the audience.” 

In his mind he added ‘ _Because all I can seem to do is watch you in awe and ask how in the world you can be so incredible’._

All dressed up, with her hair framing her face, Vanya was gorgeous- though he struggled to recall a time when she didn’t appear so. When he first saw her that night, he thinks he may have stopped breathing, because that black dress she was wearing and that smile that she gave the room was more heart-stopping than any dance with death. 

Five searched for the words- _I love the way your brain works, you are kinder than anyone I have ever met, you deserve so much better than I could ever be, but you make me want to try to be better._ He wanted to spin her to face him and pull her impossibly close and kiss her to show rather than tell that he was sure he was in love with her.

But then the orchestra finished their piece and Vanya was swept into the crowd that was migrating across the room and Five could only wish he was a time traveller- if just to play back that moment a thousand times. 

  
  


It was too easy with Five- she could forget everything else, _everyone_ else. But she couldn’t afford to- not here, not now. 

As she cast her eyes around for anyone she vaguely recognised, they got caught on a couple standing together and suddenly her throat was very dry.

Because it was Five (wearing his suit like a second skin that made his jaw look like it could cut diamonds) talking to one of the most beautiful women she had ever seen ( _not wanted, not needed, just stop trying)_. She vaguely recognised her and was trying to pinpoint from where when the Handler appeared in front of her. 

“Ms Smirnov,” she greeted, before tossing a look over her shoulder. “I see you’ve noticed Mr Hargreeves’ most recent conquest. Boy, that was quick, since I thought he had you on the ropes!” 

Stuttering in surprise, Vanya couldn’t defend herself ( _‘like he would ever date_ ’ Klaus had said, but here it was-) and Ms Handler let out a hearty laugh. 

“Oh dear, he still does, doesn’t he? Number Five has a magnetic attraction, makes everyone fall in love with him. Don’t be embarrassed, everyone could tell, you know. But that’s Delores- you know, the model from all the ads recently? Voted ‘Most Beautiful’ and ‘Most Charismatic’, I heard.”

Vanya stayed silent. ( _Be more, be better_ ).

Five had never mentioned her… but he had never told Vanya he was anything more than her boss. And that was the kind of woman Five Hargreeves would want. She was gorgeous, she was talented, witty (if the amount of times they had laughed was anything to go off) and comfortable in this world.

( _That’s who he wants, not that there was ever a choice. Not that you could ever compete with her.)_

“Did you think you had a chance Vanya? Oh I’m sorry, but it’s never going to happen. I’d just let it go, they made it official last week.” 

And it hurt. It echoed everything she had been telling herself ( _you are not good enough, be more, be better)_ but to see it and hear it was another thing entirely. It was too much, everything she had been trying to suppress was exploding out of the boxes in her head- it was a mistake. 

_‘You’re the whole goddamn orchestra’_

‘ _They just made it official last week’_

‘ _-he’s going to shit bricks when he sees you’_

_‘-like he would date-’_

_‘You know Five likes you-‘_

_‘Five has a magnetic attraction, makes everyone fall in love with him-‘_

Vanya had to get out.

She didn’t see Ms Handler’s painted red smile or the concerned looks she was attracting as made her way through the crowd and towards the doors, battling to keep her face impassive. 

She made it out the door before she heard Klaus yell. 

“Vanya!”

She spun to face them, smiling as tears filled her eyes- forcing her mouth to curve and teeth to show, even though they probably couldn’t see it in the dark. It was all the Hargreeves, minus Five and with the addition of Eudora and Dave, and Vanya could only thank the Lord Five wasn’t going to watch this because he would be able to see through her bullshit a mile off. 

“Hey Vanya, are you ok? If this is about Five and that model-” 

Her mouth was as dry as a desert and it felt like the words were feet dragging through gravel as she shoved them out of her mouth, “I’m fine. I’m so happy for the two of them.” 

She couldn’t speak after that, the rock in her throat grew and it felt like she could barely breathe with it there. They stood watching her and she just managed to croak out, “I need to go home,” before she couldn’t cry out for help. 

Vanya thinks someone may have started talking then, but she just stood there listening- even if all she could hear was Five and Delores, laughing and sounding so happy, while she was so incapable of doing anything that could bring that sort of goodness in the world, when she broke everything she touched. 

The tears spilled down her face, hot and heavy and she was so unbalanced that she’s sure just one push would have sent her flying to the floor without her ever being able to get up. Allison stepped forward to give her a hug but she stumbled back, ignoring their calls as she slipped into a cab. Sitting alone in the dark backseat, she felt another silent sob wrack her body as another wave of sadness hit her. 

She stuffed a hand in her mouth and forced the emotions back into the little compartment in her mind- where they never should have come out of, a Pandora’s box she couldn’t afford to be opened (because if even one thing leaks out, who knows if she’ll ever be able to stop crying). 

She took a shuddering breath and hurriedly brushed away her tears as she paid the driver, who was watching her with concern. Her nose was running, her face itched and she felt even more childish and ridiculous than before ( _you knew he would never like you, why was it such a surprise to see it for yourself)._

She set off down the street, praying that no one witnessed the end of her meltdown. 

(Oh, Monday was just going to be hell, wasn’t it?)

————————————————————————

Out on the pavement, the Hargreeves stood in silence. Allison hugged her torso (trying not to feel hurt from Vanya literally staggering away from her) and Klaus was still half torn away from Dave from when he was yelling Vanya’s name. 

“What happened?”

“I don’t know.”

The reply was hollow, as they watched the place where Vanya had vanished from their sight. 

“Do you think she’ll be ok?”

“I don’t know.” 

The pause lengthened before Luther asked cautiously (because he always was the most emotionally tone-deaf), “Does she love him?” 

“Does he love her?”

Diego’s temper- which was most always just barely contained- boiled over. 

“We shouldn’t have gotten involved. Fuck, this is so much worse than it could have been.”

“We were just trying to help- _”_

“Yeah and look at what happened,” Klaus suddenly responded with heat. “Five's clueless, Vanya is completely shattered and we can’t even _ask_ her about anything.” 

“I’ve been friends with her a while- usually it’s best to let her cool off on her own before you try and talk emotions out with her. She needs to get her own head sorted.” 

Klaus deflated as his boyfriend mentioned that, but Diego was still simmering. Eudora could feel it too, and could only plead with her eyes ‘ _Don’t do anything stupid._ ’ He gave a maniac grin as if to say ' _Too late,’_ before turning to go back inside. 

_——————————————————————————_

Five isn’t quite sure how everything turned to shit so fast.

(As he grew older Five had realised that in life, ‘everything’ was more comprised of ‘the things that make you _want_ to be here’)

He had been talking to Delores- an acquaintance of his through some of the more desperate times in his life; chiefly, a companion during long corporate functions who put up with his sarcasm. A brief ‘hi, how do you do’ before he left, and Diego pounced on him. 

“Do you know what just happened?”

“Three people are born every second Diego, you’re going to have to be a bit more specific,” Five was looking around for Vanya- he was tired and annoyed and just waned to be with someone that he didn’t have to be ‘on’ with, just himself. 

“If you’re looking for Vanya, you won’t find her.”

Five's head whipped around so fast Diego could have sworn he heard his neck crack.

“Why not?”

“Why do you care?” Diego shot back sharply. 

“Where is she?” Five asked, ignoring his brother. 

“Do you really want to know?” Diego taunted, anger truly incited now. 

“Diego, where is Vanya?” Five asked again, his impatience properly showing now, and that’s all Diego needed to get irritated (because _fuck_ anyone who thought they could play around with Vanya’s feelings- Vanya who listened to him talk about Eudora for hours and who he could tell wished she could cherish and be cherished like that, because she felt things far deeper than she let on). 

“She went home. We all saw her go, everyone except you! God- do you even love her?” 

Five felt the air leave his lungs. Diego was the brother, if any brother, who Five had confided most into about Vanya. So that he was even asking was a red flag to him before he responded (and maybe it was telling that where everywhere else Five was eloquent and a smartass, here he was anything but). 

“Vanya’s better than anything I’ve ever seen. I mean, shit. You know that I do- I’m not sure I could live without her.”

“You could,” Diego told him resolutely, eyes still alight. 

“But I don’t think I’d want to,” Five murmured softly. 

“Why do you love her?” Diego asked, struggling to hold onto his protective anger. 

“Because she’s herself, Diego. I can’t pinpoint what makes me love her- it’s the quirks and the qualities, it’s her fighting for equality and-“ he laughed. “Drawing truffala trees when she’s bored. She’s Vanya. I’m not sure if there’s any universe where I don’t love her.” 

And Diego softened (because that’s how Eudora made him feel). 

“Why’d she go home?”

“Not my place to tell,” he said more gently, and Five was left to wonder. 

——————————————————————————————————————

When Monday came around, Vanya felt like weights were infused into her bones and her eyes were never meant to be pried open. But the wheels of commerce stop for no one, and while time marches on, so must we march with it. 

Coming into the meeting, she avoided eye-contact with Five (or any of the Hargreeves) and pointedly filled her coffee cup with the shitty company stuff.

She could feel eyes on her but she refused to meet the gaze, instead simply sitting down and stirring her drink until they began. Once the meeting had finished, she was out like a shot, and her door was locked all day. The one time Five tried to come down and talk to her, her jacket had been thrown haphazardly around her shoulders as Vanya begged off on account of ‘having lunch with an old friend’. 

Because over the weekend, Vanya had made a decision.

She decided that, while Five may haunt her thoughts (and unfortunately, on occasion, her dreams), she couldn’t allow herself to simply be hurt over and over again. 

(She just had to accept it, plain and simple. She didn’t know how to make human connections.

Vanya had about five friends that she would tell about her mental state and all of them had far closer friends than her. She couldn’t spend any significant amount of time with someone before they wanted to get away from her- and how could she blame them, when most days she wanted to get away from herself.

She had acquaintances and colleagues, and people she viewed as close friends who probably thought her a distant relationship. She didn’t know how to be close to people, she didn’t know how to be someone that people wanted around- _so maybe she should stop trying._

And it wasn’t their fault- it’s hers, it’s hers because she doesn’t know how to be any other way than how she is (and she is terrified of being alone). Because she is not normal enough, she is not nice enough, not happy enough to have friends or a partner- _she didn’t deserve it, she couldn’t drag someone else down to her level._

She can only drive everyone away and there is nothing she can do about it- and that fact will sit and fester inside her every day.) 

  
  


This was the best way. No one needed her, she needed to detach herself (from this job, from her friends, from Five)- before they got rid of her.

And did it hurt to know the no one wanted her? Yeah. It fucking _burned._

But this would be better. A burden eased from the Hargreeves, having to put up with her, and a cleaner break for when she would have to leave. 

(Because she got too comfortable thinking she could stay here- but now she knew better than ever she needed _out,_ that someone else could do this job and do it better). 

  
  


So in the meeting, Vanya did not meet Five’s eyes or bring him coffee. She did not spark back at stupid responses or inane comments. Vanya simply stirred her coffee and waited for the meeting to finish, before she disappeared once more, into the mask she had crafted for herself. And make no mistake, she could not afford to let her guard slip again.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is wild, I can't believe I broke the 30k word count and people are actually reading my work... it's crazy in the best possible way. 
> 
> So instead of doing the work I was meant to do this weekend, I got excited and wrote this- I'm too close to it, I can't tell what's on the page and in my brain but I'm pretty happy with how it turned out. 
> 
> Comment and tell me whatever you think- if there's a line you liked or a bit of dialogue or characterisation that you didn't, let me know; it's awesome getting to hear from people who have read my work and see your opinions. 
> 
> So, I now present to you, my insomnia-inducing final chapter

It _should_ have been a typical Friday.

(Maybe in another life it was, a life where the party hadn’t happened, a life where she didn’t know and was still trying to stop herself falling head over heels, maybe a life where she hadn’t taken the job or had never left Russia).

But Vanya was avoiding just about everyone in her life, which had some results she hadn’t anticipated. Chiefly, she’d had meetings every morning since Monday. 

And it was really fucking annoying. 

Because she could barely contain her thoughts on her own, but with Five watching her, it was even harder. It was also harder to maintain her resolve that this was best for everyone when she knew that his motive for scheduling at least some of these meetings was to catch her afterwards- and it was tempting to hear him out. But she also knew that she couldn’t do it anymore. 

Vanya wasn’t one to love half-heartedly, and every time she could see Five roll his eyes or drink the coffee with a grimace her heart ached with fondness (the kind that made you smile and cry, when you couldn’t tell the hurt from the happiness) like a bruise being pressed over and over again. She just needed to get through it, get out, get it done. 

So she went to a meeting with no purpose for the fifth morning in a row. Monday, she had managed to get out before Five, Tuesday she took the stairs and Wednesday was safety in numbers, so she stood on the opposite side of the elevator with a sea of people between them as she looked down at her shoes in fascination. Thursday had looked like he wasn’t going to let her get away that easily, but he had been held up by someone in the room so Vanya easily evaded confrontation. 

Vanya knew it would be close on Friday. What she hadn’t counted on was Five calling in reinforcements.

She hadn’t properly talked to any of the Hargreeves since Saturday (which was grating on her, she hadn’t realised how much she had come to rely on their friendship and looked forward to her lunch breaks until she was telling Klaus and Ben she was just ‘so busy’ and avoiding her office during the times that Allison usually came around to check in on her- and when she would tell Vanya all the rumours around the office and no work would be done for a full hour- and not rocking up to Diego’s office for long chats and not making eye-contact with Luther in the corridors and saying ‘I’m fine’ if any of them did manage to catch her). She had thought that Five wouldn’t think to involve them and, if he did, that they wouldn’t try to help him corner her. She was wrong on both counts. 

Coming out of the meeting like hell’s dogs were on her heels, Vanya turned to go for the elevator only to see Allison standing near the entrance- and that was _not_ a conversation she wanted to have right now.

_Just a coincidence,_ she reassured herself. 

Gulping, Vanya turned and spotted Klaus and Ben standing in the corridor to her left, while Luther blocked the right hallway. Pulling a face, she made to push open the door to the stairwell, only to see Diego leaning against the wall and giving her a sarcastic little wave before she let the door fall shut again.

_So. Maybe not a coincidence._

She glanced over her shoulder to see Five walking leisurely with all the other people from the meeting and that smirk (after going without a week seeing it in full force, she seemed to have lost all immunity she’d built up to it because Vanya’s insides turned warm and her legs were weak and she was _panicking_ )- it was far too self-satisfied for Vanya to believe she was merely unlucky.

And- in a move she isn’t exactly proud of but maintains was her only option- Vanya walked into the women’s bathrooms. Because, surely, Five wouldn’t come into the ladies toilets. 

  
  
  
  


He wouldn’t, but only because Allison admonished him, “We all agree you need to talk Five, but you aren’t going in there.”

“Well, you go in then!”

“Your mess Five, you’ve got to clean some of it up- we did the heavy lifting of getting her here, you need to talk to her now. And unlike you, I actually have work to do. Text me how it goes- be _nice_ Five.” 

His other siblings gave similar responses- threats from Diego, encouragement from Luther, a half-hearted joke courtesy Klaus and assurances from Ben- before they left. 

  
  
  


She was waiting in the women’s bathrooms and _yes,_ she felt stupid and _yes,_ she should just be mature and talk about her issues. But on the other hand, avoidance has never failed her before and it’s so much easier to ignore your problems than to deal with them. So Vanya was sitting in a cubicle on her phone and waiting until she was sure it was safe to come out- and she had been in there about fifteen minutes when she deemed that he would have left by now. 

What she had not taken into account was that Five was a stubborn prick. It was one of his more likeable attributes. 

So she pulled the door open to Five leaning against the wall with his arms crossed ( _He looked tired_ , she thought, _he should be drinking less coffee if he wants to sleep at night_ ). It was too late to go back in now he had seen her and she had a pretty good feeling that he would wait her out even if she did. 

Five gave her a wry closed lip smile.

“Hi Vanya.”

“Sorry, I was just leaving, if you don’t mind me getting around you, I really should get back to my office- very busy, lots of work to do,” Vanya told a spot about five centimetres to the right of his head, before making a move to go around him.

Five however, spun around to walk with her as he asked sarcastically, “So busy that you spent fifteen minutes in the bathroom?”

“When it’s that time of the month Mr Hargreeves-”

She knew she should engage with him- not now, not when she knew (how she felt, what she was to him), but she couldn’t help herself. 

“Mr Hargreeves? We’re back to that?” His laugh was more bitter than amused before he said, “Cut the bullshit Vanya. You’ve been avoiding me all week, I want to know why.”

“It’s not like you’re the only one I’ve been avoiding, don’t go feeling special,” she mumbled, but he heard it all the same. 

“No, I am very much aware of that, but I _am_ the only one you haven’t spoken to since Saturday. I don’t even _know_ what happened on Saturday and I’d really love to know if I should be making a shitty apology or not.”

  
  


_Of course he wouldn’t know._

Five would have thought she’d already heard about their relationship or that it wouldn’t affect her- he wouldn’t realise she had a (monstrously huge, so big that maybe she couldn’t keep calling it a) crush on him. Probably wouldn’t even occur to him that she could be interested in anyone (‘ _the whole goddamn orchestra’_ he said but then he was with _her_ -).

She walked faster, but Five matched her pace easily- _stupid tall people with long legs, made everything so much more difficult-_

“Nothing happened on Saturday.”

The other Hargreeves had cleared out she noticed, as she jabbed the button for the elevator and the doors slid open. 

“‘ _Nothing_ ’ isn’t the reason you haven’t made eye-contact with me in five days.”

They were going up quickly, but not quickly enough it seemed, because she couldn’t escape his questions, the concern in his gaze. 

Vanya snapped. “I just- I didn’t know, ok? But now I do and it’s fine. I’m fine, everything’s fine.”

Everything was not fine. Now he was looking at her quizzically- none of that made any sense. 

“You didn’t know what? That Diego owns a suit?” 

“No, I didn’t- it doesn’t matter now, Ms Handler straightened it all out and I was tired so I went home. End of story.”

She couldn’t even _say it_ to the man, fucking hell it was pathetic. She looked up at the ceiling, at the door, at anything that wasn’t Five watching her with curious intent. 

“Not end of story. What didn’t you know?”

It was like Vanya was purposefully giving him parts of an Ikea flatpack without instructions- but instead of getting the seat or a table top, he was getting nails and bits of fucking wood that could be anything and he had no idea what the fuck to do with any of it. 

  
  


But Vanya now knows there is a God because the elevator arrived at her floor and so before he could press her further, she slammed the close door button as she sprinted through the gap.

“You can’t fucking run f-” the rest of Five’s yell was locked into the elevator with him. 

  
  


“Shit,” he cursed to the empty room.

  
  


“Fuck,” Vanya said emphatically as she sat down at her desk.

She knew what had to be done. So slowly, she opened a new document and began to type.

————————————————————————————————————

Five would say until his dying day that Vanya was a problem he never knew how to handle.

The second she got wind of his bravado she would be pulling out her no-bullshit-Five trademark eyebrow raise- and as soon as she did that he wanted to tell her everything. And she did not need to find out about his massive crush on her like that, which was the problem in the first place. Because that’s how this all started, it was Vanya calling him out and before he knew it everything was different and he didn’t mind. 

He was hooked and what’s more, by the time he realised he was in too deep, he didn’t _want_ to get out because all he could think in her presence was _I’d let you destroy me in the most beautiful ways, tearing my heart to pieces whichever way you tug it and I would do it smiling if it meant I’d have just five minutes more with you._ Too many times he had wondered in the past few months if she was punishment for his hubris- because his torture in knowing he could never have her but would always want her, it would be the sweetest sorrow, the most agonising joy and vicious love to be around her but never with her. 

  
  


So he was well aware that when it came to Vanya, there would almost always be a curveball. He just didn’t expect this one. He should have, he agrees, given just about everything he knew about her but maybe a part of him ( _all_ of him) didn’t want to believe she would do it. 

But then he got the letter from HR that started with: 

_‘Dear Mr Hargreeves,_

_I, Vanya Smirnov, wish to resign from my role effective from-'_

That’s as far as he got before his temper flared. _Oh no, she was going to get away from that conversation that easy._

This had gone on long enough. 

  
  


Vanya knew it wasn’t a particularly classy move to resign through HR. 

In her defence, she figured it would be the easiest and most painless way, with the added bonus of keeping Five in the dark until her time of notice was up.

She had checked company policy and if she approached Human Resources and handled all the affairs, her superiors needn’t be notified until three days in advance- which she had planned strategically for her to have a sick day on the Friday and then hide over the weekend. Overall, it was effective, it was non-confrontational, it was discreet and Vanya was- well, not content, because she did like her job (that she was making a difference and the friends she had made) but she knew she had to move on, and this was an adequate strategy for affecting that change. 

  
  


Something she hadn’t considered when she sent the email to HR with her resignation letter attached was that Diego, as Head of Security, could look into any emails sent on company servers if he could justify the need. And as an invested observer of Vanya’s relationship with Five, and as well as a concerned friend, Diego had been flagging her outbound emails for anything that looked suspicious.

So when he saw the email, he did two things. First, he forwarded the email to Allison, Ben and Klaus (because as much as he wanted to help, he was pretty sure he would make it worse- it looked like this would need a more diplomatic touch). Then, he sent it on to Five, listed as coming from HR. And then he sat back to wait. 

  
  


Klaus, Ben and Allison were remarkably quick off the mark. The trio burst into Vanya’s office minutes after receiving it and Vanya was so startled that she damn near leaped out of her chair. 

“Are you resigning?” Ben asked. 

“You can’t quit-” Klaus moaned. 

“Were you even going to tell us?” Allison interrupted. 

That was followed by a long silence, where Vanya seemed to gather her thoughts. 

“I was always going to tell you, I just thought it would be better to wait a little while until everything was sorted. How did you find out anyway? Friends in HR?”

“Wait, you're doing this through Human Resources? Christ Vanya, does Five even know?” Ben interjected, eyebrows raised. 

She didn’t respond. 

“Vanya, why are you doing this? Why doesn’t he know? Why didn’t _any_ of us know?” Klaus questioned. 

“What was I meant to say? _‘Yeah sorry, I can’t work at this company any more because I’m in love with the CEO- your_ brother- _and he’s so far out of my league that I can’t look at him without being reminded of it and he’s dating a_ model _. Sorry about the million I lost you and the huge amount of backlash that your public image had to cop because of me, call this my two weeks notice_ ’?” Vanya exploded.

She knew she shouldn’t be angry but their teasing had raised her hopes a little- that maybe it wasn’t so out of the realm of possibility that Five could return her feelings, to whatever degree. ( _It’s not their fault, it’s hers, it’s hers.._ ) 

“What do you mean out of your league? We love him, but he is the most sarcastic asshole with the biggest ego-” Klaus started 

“You love him?” Allison asked Vanya genuinely. 

  
  


Before she could answer though, a yell was heard from down the corridor. 

“Vanya Smirnov, if your door isn’t unlocked by the time I get there, I’ll break it down!” 

“He’s _so_ _stupid_. Smartest person I know but so _stupid,_ ” Ben groaned. 

  
  


Fuck. None of this was meant to be happening. Five shouldn’t be coming into her office and Allison, Ben and Klaus shouldn’t know that she loved him and she shouldn’t be having to deal with this much Hargreeves so late in the day. 

But that’s how the score currently stood and when Five came through the door Vanya just about gave up, slumping in her chair. Apparently avoidance wasn’t a hot tactic with the Hargreeves and neither were boundaries, so she was going to have to deal with her problems head on. 

He zeroed in on her immediately. 

“Hey there, Vanya. Care to explain this letter I just got from HR?” 

“How did you get that? How did any of you hear about this?” 

“So they know too?” Five asked, “You told my brothers and sister, but not me?” 

“I didn’t tell them! I didn’t tell anyone! It was meant to be a secret until three days before when I was going to just piss off and not show up to work!”

There was a beat of silence before Five said, very deliberately, “That is the worst idea I have heard _in my entire life,_ and I grew up with Luther _and_ Diego, so that bar is pretty fucking low.”

“Well it would have _fucking_ _worked_ if someone hadn’t spilled the beans,” Vanya replied with bite. 

  
  


“This is the best entertainment I’ve seen all year,” Klaus stage-whispered. 

“Get out,” Vanya and Five hissed (which was fucking creepy because they both looked spitting mad and Ben was vaguely terrified of what would happen if they left them alone, but Allison pulled both her brothers out with her and shut the door behind them). 

  
  


“Would you at least tell me why?” Five asked in the ensuing silence, sounding more vulnerable than angry and _dammit_ that made it harder for Vanya to hold onto her own anger. 

“I’m not legally required to,” she skirted around the question. 

“I’m asking you, as a friend, why you want to quit this job.”

‘ _Friend_ ’. That ached to say, but he had to know. 

“I’m just not fit for this position, Mr Hargreeves.”

Old reliable- it was a strong excuse and Vanya had faith in its power, coupled with the distancing of his surname. 

“For fuck’s sake Vanya, the position was _made_ for you. No one can do it better than you can,” Five said scornfully. 

He couldn’t just _say_ things like that. Like he meant them and he thought she was the best person for the job and _shit_ , she couldn’t look him in the eye. 

“So can you just tell me, no bullshit, no avoidance crap- just look me in the eye and tell me why.” 

“And if I do?” Vanya asked, still not looking up. 

“I can’t force you to stay against your will Vanya. I just- I have to know why.” He ran a hand through his hair and pulled his tie looser and looked at her earnestly and vulnerably to ask _why ._

Holding everything in was hard. It was exhausting, to be watching her every move, to be having to consciously think about how to dodge people’s attempts to get to know her and not let her emotions come out of their boxes. And Vanya was tired of it. 

So maybe, this was it.

This moment was everything she had been amounting to since Luther asked her that question that set off an unexpected chain reaction that she never could have been prepared for. And when Five asked her that question, Vanya knew she had to tell him the truth. She owed it to him- the man who had created her job, the man she had dissed very publicly prior to meeting him, the man she was in love with- he deserved the truth. 

He wouldn’t reciprocate; he probably wouldn’t even be able to understand it. But she had to tell him. 

“I saw you, on Saturday with Delores.”

He looked at her, eyebrow raised, still obviously believing she was using excuses. 

“And?”

“I- I didn’t know you two were like a _thing_ ”

“A what?” Five asked weakly, now looking mildly like he was winded as his brain worked overtime to put together the vague context clues. Vanya didn’t seem to hear him though, and kept going. 

“I just- I don’t know. I thought maybe we were _something_ , like our relationship was a little different from yours and Allison’s, or with the Handler.”

“It is, _you_ are,” he murmured but she didn’t stop, unaware that he spoken. 

“I mean, I figured that it was one-sided but I didn’t know you were in a relationship and it just made it so much more real-” 

“One-si- is this why you’ve been weird since Saturday?” Five interrupted, now resembling someone who had been hit by a train, but she heard him this time.

“I mean-” she shuffled awkwardly. 

“Actually scratch that. I think I know the answer, but you’re going to have to really spell it out for me here Vanya. Because if you mean what I think you mean; you have tell me exactly what you want, I’m not a mind reader.”

His rising sense of hope was dangerous, but he couldn’t help it. If there was even the slightest chance that she felt the way he did, he had to ask. 

“‘ _Exactly what I want’- ‘not a mind rea-',_ are you kidding?” Vanya exclaimed incredulously. “Everyone knows what I want- your siblings, Ms Handler, complete _strangers_ can tell what I want, but you can’t?” 

Five shrugged and tried to keep the urge to smile under wraps- because if she was saying what he thought she was saying…

_Now or never._ She looked up at the ceiling, gathered all her courage and took the plunge. 

“I’m in love with you Five-”

“Vanya-”

“And I know you’re with her and I don’t even know why I’m telling you since even if you weren’t you’d be so out of my reach-” 

“Vanya.”

She figured that she may as well put it all on the line now. 

“You’re literally the heir to an entire company and you’re sarcastic and blunt and smart and you give more of a shit than you’d ever let on and when you look at me I can’t _breathe,_ let alone think straight and-” 

“Vanya.”

Finally noticing his interruptions, Vanya looked at him to see how he was taking it ( _disgusted? Confused? Horrified?)._

He was simply smiling- and now that he knew the effect he had on her, _surely_ he could tone it down. It wasn’t fair that he could be dishevelled and exhausted and still look straight off the front cover of a magazine. 

“Why are you looking at me like that?” 

Five, if it was possible, grinned even wider. 

“Vanya. I’m not dating Delores. I never was.”

“Oh,” she breathed, her brain struggling to process this. 

“Yeah ‘oh’,” he chuckled. “You’re wrong though. You’re out of my league. You make actual change, Vanya and you care more than anyone I’ve met.” 

He took a step towards her and tilted her chin up slightly. 

“You’re kind and confident in yourself and gorgeous inside and out.” 

He met her curious, brown gaze and let himself give her the most vulnerable expression he had ever let on his face- open and honest and so very, very tender as he said, 

“And I am so in love with you Vanya Smirnov-”

And hearing that was so strange, but Five Hargreeves was honest in just about everything. Vanya surged up to meet his lips and it was sweet and soft but with the flicker of heat, the fire that fuelled the sarcasm and humour and it was hard to keep kissing when they were both smiling but she didn’t want to stop. 

Maybe she didn’t need to be more. Maybe she didn’t need to be better. Maybe just being herself was enough- maybe she was enough. 

(It was a thought, one she would compound on and ask Five about later before he would roll his eyes and state matter of factly 

‘ _Well no wonder you’re such an overachiever. You’ve got unachievable goals- how are you meant to be_ better _when you’re already the best, Vanya?’_

She would tell him to shove it but she held onto his words, because sometimes other people can see us more clearly than we can see ourselves.)

\--------------------------------------------------------------

“You know, you could have just asked me about it. Who told you I was dating her anyway?”

“What was I meant to say? ‘ _Hi Five, Ms Handler told me you’re dating someone? Is that true? I’m asking for a friend.’_ ”

“Yes. All of that,” he responded with a smirk. “I think I’m going to fire Handler.”

“Can you do that?” Vanya asked dubiously. 

“I’m the CEO. I can do whatever I want.”

“Sure you can Five, sure you can.”

His eyebrow twitched up at her dry tone, but he smiled all the same. 

“I’m glad you agree.” 

They left the office that night to go to Griddy’s with the rest of the Hargreeves, who would moan ‘Finally’s and ‘Thank God’s when Five and Vanya confirmed that _yes_ they were now dating. Both would receive ‘I told you so’s and Diego would own up to intercepting the email. 

And they would laugh and share the donuts around, agreeing to go bowling next week and Five begging Vanya to bring real coffee. 

So no, it wasn’t a typical Friday- not the day she accepted the job, and not the day she tried to quit.

Vanya would look back on all the mistakes she made- stutters and stumbles, responses and resignations, miscommunications and the following commiserations- and she would smile. 

Because yes they were mistakes, but they were moments and memories made, and Vanya knew (sitting at a sticky table in donut diner as the neon lights glowed above them) she wouldn’t trade her experiences for the world, because it lead to her sitting here now, with friends and with love- so maybe they weren’t really mistakes afterall. 

**Author's Note:**

> ARTISDEAD: Klaus  
> Vanya-the-Violin: Vanya (unoriginal I know)   
> MoonBoy: Luther   
> IWriteLawsNotTradgedies: Ben


End file.
